Dani Shapiro, an author of both fiction and memoirs, has agreed to her husband’s request to both send off their saliva specimens to Ancestry.com – quite on a lark. Just a curiosity – something she could have just as easily decided not to do. The results, however, turned her world upside down. This is her true story of the fallout from that single decision.
Spoiler alert: If you don’t want to know anything more and you might read this book, please don’t read on.
What Shapiro learns is that her father is actually not her biological father. The person she felt closest to, proudest of, particularly with regard to her heritage – as he’d come from a line of well-respected, learned, Orthodox rabbis – was actually not related to her biologically. On the other hand, the mother with whom she had a strained, even fearful relationship, was. And this rocked her world.
While I cannot fully relate to the situation, I have to admit that I had a hard time completely sympathizing with the author. Yes, this must have been a shock and yes, it must have thrown her. But when she repeatedly referred to this as a “trauma,” I could not help feeling as if this was melodramatic. The word, trauma, I believe, has become so over-used that its potency has become diluted. Her year of worrying about her son with a near-fatal disease – THAT was traumatic, I’m sure. This discovery about her father, I do not think rises to the level of trauma. And while I agree, to live in a family with secrets was not ideal, it was certainly not uncommon at that time. The 1950’s and 1960’s were fraught with a different philosophy about what was appropriate to discuss with children. To apply today’s standards to what was standard then is unfair.
I also thought that this story might have been told in a much shorter format – such as an article in the New Yorker, for example. As a full-length memoir, it was somewhat drawn out and sometimes actually dull. I was waiting for something truly extraordinary to happen and it did not. What did begin to capture my interest was her discussion about the Farris clinic, the infertility clinic in Philadelphia where her mother was inseminated. The doctor went rogue, was practicing without a license, and inventing new techniques in infertility treatments. Some were actual advancements and some were truly unethical and this would have been fascinating to explore further. Unfortunately, there was only limited exploration of this clinic and details were doled out sparingly. This is where I was hoping the story would lead.
All in all, I was left somewhat disappointed. I’m curious to hear what others think…!