Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

For anyone who is in therapy, has contemplated therapy, knows someone in therapy, or should be in therapy – and yes, that’s everyone! — this is a great book!

Lori Gottlieb, a therapist who has come to being so by way of having been a screenwriter, a medical student and a journalist, gives a thoughtful account of her experience of going through a sudden, devastating breakup which rocks her world.  Feeling like she’s been blindsided, she seeks out the comfort of a therapist, Wendell (not his real name) whom she expects will join her in her rage against “Boyfriend” who has deserted her after seeming to be committed to their relationship for the past 2 years.  What she receives instead surprises her and gives her space to peer inside and in fact,  find genuine growth and much deeper comfort and understanding than she’d imagined.

A number of people recommended this book to me and I began it reluctantly.  Because of what I do everyday, I thought it might not be the escape that I love books to be.  To my surprise, though, it was exactly that.   Gottlieb is a gifted storyteller and weaves her own story with those of some of her clients.  As she begins to unveil her own journey, she also draws parallels with those of a few of her clients and we come to know and appreciate each of them as they too peel off the layers of their own defenses. We learn some of the terms of the trade, and how therapy works, in a sense — how she gives and takes, as a therapist who is in therapy, and how even if she is a therapist, it is hard to see your own defenses at play.    And she does all of this with kindness and humor.

This is an extremely engaging read – a true story that reads like a novel.  Be ready to laugh and to cry and to seriously think about going into therapy if you aren’t in therapy already!

 

The Storied Life of AJ Filkry by Gabrielle Zevin

I have my friend Jimmy to thank for this one…

AJ is aware of how ornery he has grown and still cannot help himself – no, he almost delights in it, even as it might actually be responsible for driving away the few customers who might visit his tiny, fledgling island bookstore.  But when he is outright nasty to the attractive, new publishing company rep, he actually feels a twinge of remorse.  Two discoveries after this, one a loss and one a find, both that occur in the confines of his bookstore, lead to major changes in AJ’s life that open up his heart once again to the possibility of love and connection to others.

While this is a somewhat unlikely story, and requires some bit of blind acceptance, it is a sweet one, nonetheless.  We’d all love to believe that a middle aged man, set in his ways, living alone, would take in a completely strange toddler left on his doorstep.  It is a beautiful image, but I’m not sure how realistic it is.  But this is fiction, so we’ll go with it.

On the other hand, the setting is a bookstore on an island (a mashup of my 2 favorite kinds of places). The characters are utterly endearing, from the awkward Amelia, the publishing rep with the bad taste in clothes and the great taste in books, to the police chief with the expanding taste in books and the predictable taste in party foods.  They are characters we engage with easily and comfortably, as we would an old armchair.  Even the plot winds around our hearts and tugs gently but surely.  It will get you.

This is a sweet novel and perfect for anyone who loves talking about books – and reading about others who love talking about books!

 

How to Behave in a Crowd by Camille Bordas

Dory has not skipped multiple grades as have all of his older siblings.  He has not acquired any advanced academic degrees and he has not defended his PhD thesis.  He believes he is barely even noticed by anyone, even when he routinely runs away from home to test his theory.   The only one who does seem to see him is Denise, the only other person in his class with no friends.  Denise, who is known to be chronically depressed, even suicidal at times, and who shuns every other human being’s attention.  As Dory works hard to decipher just who he is in the context of his odd, cynical, intellectual family, he learns that one doesn’t need a PhD to be kind or to find justice.

This is a quirky coming-of-age novel that will no doubt wind up on your local indie foreign film screen one day soon. Simultaneously dark and sardonically comical, the story goes where you least expect it to go.  And the characters are wonderfully unconventional.  Dory himself is so painfully awkward and is so utterly endearing that the reader feels for him from the very first line.    Even his siblings, who are narcissistic and socially objectionable, are still quite funny and entertaining.  Even Denise, who is depressed, isolated, and cynical, offers her own brand of glib commentary on the world which is often sarcastic.

On the other hand, it is also a  quite serious commentary on the emotional crippling of the educational system.  While Dory finds himself surrounded by siblings who excel academically, he finds no one is able to mentor him in the area of emotional intelligence.  This he has to figure out on his own, and this is his greatest challenge.  His siblings are all emotionally suppressed, have no friends and have never learned to express or cope with emotions in any healthy way.   Ironically, it seems they look to the youngest of them all – Dory – as an example.

I actually really liked this book and I believe you will hear more about it and its author.

Health Justice Now by Timothy Faust

In this book, Timothy Faust surgically cuts through the complicated mess of the American health care system, gives his diagnosis and prescription for a solution:  a single payer system.  In an acerbically articulate and well-researched argument, he outlines the defects in our current systems, which are many.  The ways in which the insurance companies overcharge and deny their customers, the ways in which hospitals and pharmaceutical companies play the system to reap enormous profits at the expense of patients and patient care, and the ways in which even public insurance programs are fallible are all explained in full. And Faust also broadens the definition of health care to include those factors that contribute to one’s health, such as housing, food, poverty, environmental safety, etc. that are often systemically limited by race, gender, class, and ability.  HIs answer?  The single payer.  A single payer system pays for all, regardless of race, gender, class or ability and pays for all needs.  In this scenario, primary care is accessible to all, so that health care is accessed early, when disease may be either preventable or caught early enough to be inexpensive or less expensive to treat.  It makes sense.  And while those who profit from the insurance fraud game and the pharmaceutical industry sham will fight tooth and nail and lobby with every dollar you spend on your medications, it really would bring health care to all and make it the right it should be and not the privilege it has become in our country.

I think this is a timely and crucial reading for us all at this moment in our country, when we are about to embark on the next presidential election, when many of the democratic candidates are supporting a singe payer system.  I think it is incumbent upon us all to learn why this might be a good thing for our country and how this actually might be the only equitable way to provide health care.  I think we have to move away from seeing health care as a commodity and see it as our obligation as humans to care for one another, to allow for the dignity of others, no matter what their medical (or financial!!) situation is.

That said, I do think the tone of the writing might be a bit too angry.  While I agree with all that he’s written here, and I’m probably as angry as he is, I worry that his tone might be too polarizing – a problem that has plagued dialogue in this country on both sides.  If we are to speak to each other, we need to temper ourselves just a bit, in order to open up and let others in.  There are many solid arguments in this text and I worry that someone might not appreciate them because they’ve been alienated by the outright hostility toward the establishment.  Again, I agree with the author in his opinion, but if I didn’t, I might be put off.

I think this is an essential text in this political moment.  it’s dense, it’s not a fun read, but it’s our obligation as American citizens to open our minds and our hearts to learning how we might provide health care to everyone in this country.

Sociable by Rebecca Harrington

Elinor knows that she and Mike have been fighting a bit more than usual, but when Mike suddenly breaks things off, she feels blindsided.  Meanwhile, unexpectedly, she finds herself with a new journalism opportunity that just might fill the void she’s been feeling.  As she embarks on her career, she learns that she can achieve success on her own and that she must learn to take bolder steps to succeed.

There’s no other way to put this except to say that this book, in my opinion, is terrible.  The writing is flat and colorless.  The characters are devoid of charm.  It may be realistic in that most characters are constantly on their phones, even when having conversations with each other, and even when at parties, but that, to me, only made the book more dismal.

Perhaps the most frustrating part of the story is that it is yet another book about how the girl is once again used by her boyfriend and she doesn’t even see that she is.  When he gets a new job, they all celebrate.  When she gets a new job, he’s too busy with his to even acknowledge it. He is never wrong and is totally self-righteous and never gives her credit for having a brain, and she believes that he is justified in being that way.  Just more stereotypical characters with nothing new to say.

Not sure why I read the whole thing…  I guess so you won’t have to bother!

Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Ugwu feels quite privileged to have been chosen to work for Master.  Most people in his small village in Nigeria are not given the opportunity to work for someone who provides such fine quarters, good food, and an education as his Master is offering him.  He also has the opportunity to overhear Master’s exuberant  discussions with his regular guests, other professors and intellectuals discussing the political upheaval of their time. And as Ugwu helps Master prepare for the coming of Olanna, Master’s love, Ugwu watches change come not only to their household, but to Nigeria itself.

In some ways this is a monumental saga, portraying one family’s experience of the devastating Nigerian-Biafran war of the late 1960’s. The author is able to illustrate the complexity of the war – the tribalism, the massacres that preceded the war, the sheer indifference with which the world treated those who were starving to death.   In other ways, there is something missing, something somewhat detached in the writing that keeps the reader just this side of being fully invested in the story.  With the exception of Ugwu, who has a sweetness and a naivety to him, most of the characters have a chilliness that seem to keep not only the reader but even each other at bay.

This is not an easy book to read but I’m so glad I did.  I think you will be too.

Silver Sparrow by Tayari Jones

“My father, James Witherspoon, is a bigamist.”  So begins Dana’s story of how she became the “secret”, bearing the burden of being the offspring of her father’s infidelity.  At first her mother, Gwendolyn, has consoled her with the knowledge that Dana and Gwendolyn know about the other wife and daughter (Laverne and Chaurisse) but Laverne and Chaurisse do not know about them.  They even take little outings to surveil Laverne and Chaurisse, just to see how they live.  But as Dana grows older, she seeks love in other places just to fill the void that her father has created.  And as the novel progresses, we also learn that Chaurisse has not gone unscathed by the crime committed by her father.  The question is, how long can James maintain his lie?  How long until his two worlds collide?

This is a powerful novel, written in the voices of both daughters of a man who believes he can maintain a lie at their expense.  It exposes their raw emotions, mostly anger and frustration,  in their struggle to form their identities while they are given only a partial picture of who they are.  And the author portrays this so naturally it feels organic and authentic.

An interesting character in this story is Dana’s “uncle” Raleigh.  Raleigh was raised side by side with James, became like a brother to him, ultimately went into business with him and is almost like a shadow to him during the story.  He has some distinguishing features, but he seems to represent something like the conscience of James.  We yearn, in a way, for him to marry Gwen just to balance out the situation, but deep down we know that this will not truly fill the void or dull everyone’s pain.

While this story is painful, it is also full of passion and yearning and adolescent thirst for truth, which keeps it hopeful and fresh.  Tayari Jones is a true talent.