Traumatized by her past and the repression imposed by her family, Christie cannot see how she will ever be able to form attachments or achieve the relationships or family she desires. While she may be exceedingly successful academically, she finds herself lonely and failing at making healthy connections with others. As a last resort, she seeks help from a therapist, Dr. Rosen, who, after speaking with her during a few sessions, recommends group. Christie, terrified of being vulnerable and thinking of this as nothing short of torture, reluctantly agrees. It is no linear process, as she very painfully discovers, but she also discovers an opening in herself she never thought she’d experience.
This memoir by Christie Tate is a brutally honest account of how excruciating, painstaking, and yet potentially gratifying and successful group therapy can be. While Dr. Rosen’s open policy may be a bit unconventional, it does serve to create community within and among his various groups. This community can be harsh, judgemental, and invasive, but it also can be the support and encouragement one might need to move forward, take chances, and actually change for the better. The community Christie finds becomes a sort of family for her, with each assuming the roles family members do: support, condone, refute, argue, criticize, infuriate, and trigger all the emotions she’s been holding on tightly to that have been ripping at her insides for her whole life. But she learns that even if she expresses herself, she will not lose the love she fears losing.
I think this book is inspiring for anyone considering therapy, fearful of it, or otherwise in need. It is also possibly useful for those on the other side: therapists who seek to help their clients with groups. I think we learn how deeply these participants come to care for each other, nurture each other, and challenge each other to be their best selves – but it does take a skilled therapist to know how to guide, encourage, and challenge as well.
It also is important to understand that while someone might seem so confident and successful in one aspect of their life, they may also be suffering in another. We cannot assume anything about anyone, as appearances are just that: superficial and perhaps not even real. Christie was a superstar as a lawyer, but battled difficult relationships, rejection, and frustration in her personal life. She wasn’t happy, in spite of her academic, professional, and even financial success.
While this was sometimes hard to read, I believe it is an excellent book. We root for Christie on her challenging journey and celebrate her success. And we also learn what it’s like to work so hard to achieve a goal.
kindread spirits 