Behind the Beautiful Forevers (migrated from bookblogger)

Posted on by marjorieseidenfeld

Behind the Beautiful Forevers by Katherine Boo

The “moral” of this book could be “Life sucks and then you die… or kill yourself.”  This is a painfully realistic depiction of life in the slums of Mumbai, derived after the author lived among these real people for four years.  It is written like a novel, focusing on a particular family who lived next door to a woman with one leg.  Fatima, or “One Leg” as she was called, was always jealous of the money the family earned by collecting recyclable trash and in a jealous rage, set her own face on fire and accused the family of triggering her suicide attempt.  Because of this, the family had to confront the unabashedly corrupt criminal justice (or IN-Justice, really) system in order to extricate themselves from this messy nightmare.  Meanwhile, in the telling of this story, the author weaves the pain and the misery of the other surrounding characters into the tale and leaves the reader plainly devastated.

The level of poverty is frightening enough, but the competition and jealousy and the level of corruption that perpetuates the poverty is just overwhelmingly depressing.  Many times while reading this book I found myself yelling at a page in outrage.  Investigators into the supposed “crime” made aggressive advances to extort bribes in exchange for reporting more favorable evidence.  Potential witnesses asked outright for bribes to speak on either side.  Another unrelated example of the corruption was when federal funds were extracted from the government to set up schools to educate these poor children and then this money was pocketed by the officials who set them up (fake accounts made for fake teachers on a fake payroll — the whole 9 yards).  And it was based on truth.

What is so sad is that the people are so disenfranchised and discouraged that they do not band together and revolt. Rather, they compete against each other and push each other down to make themselves feel elevated.  A profound quote on page 254 summarizes this by saying, “In places where government priorities and market imperatives create a world so capricious that to help a neighbor is to risk your own ability to feed your family, and sometimes even your own liberty, the idea of the mutually supportive poor community is demolished.  The poor blame one another for the choices of governments and markets, and we who are not poor are ready to blame the poor just as harshly.”

This book is difficult to read, but very eye-opening into the underbelly of India.

Beautiful Boy (migrated from Bookblogger)

Posted on by marjorieseidenfeld

Beautiful Boy by David Sheff

I put off reading this book for so long because I knew it would be difficult — and rightfully so.  However, I do believe it is worth reading.  It is the harrowing, true story (probably so much more harrowing because it’s true!) of a father whose son is addicted to methamphetamine.  The account is painstaking and painful, recurrent and repetitive, really because the experience is.  He tells of his son, Nic, who is a bright, talented, truly “beautiful” boy who maybe  and maybe not because of his parents’ difficult divorce and their long-distance custody arrangement, begins to use marijuana.  He quickly moves on to alcohol and other drugs and finally finds his true love in meth.  And the drug, as it tends to do, takes over his life.  When Nic is on the drug, he becomes a different person — cold, impervious, resentful and conniving and completely manipulates his friends and family to enable his drug use.

His is a typical story, evidently, and the author peppers the story with actual research statistics and theories and advice for other parents in the same situation.  Mostly, though, it seems to be a catharsis for this father who writes as his way of coping.  He offers frequently that there is no great advice and there is no single answer to what heals an addict.  It seems there are some addicts who cannot be healed.  Even with treatment and rehab there is relapse and it often seems truly hopeless.

Probably most importantly, the author stresses particularly at the end of the book, the importance of the family members to get treatment themselves.  Being that closely tied to an addict can be just as “addictive” and destructive as being the addict.  It can take over your life just as easily.  This is an important message for those close to anyone with such an overwhelming disease.

As painful as this book was to read, I am so glad I did read it.  I learned so much.

The Glass Castle

Posted on by marjorieseidenfeld

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

This book has been recommended to me for years and because I knew it would be disturbing, I sort of avoided it.  But I finally resolved to read it and I’m glad I did.  This is a true, autobiographical story about a girl raised by 2 parents who were, to say the least, unconventional in their philosophy on child-rearing.  It begins with Jeanette, at the age of 3 years, trying to make herself a hot dog (because her mother was busy with her art) and burning herself on the stove to the point of needing to be hospitalized for weeks for burns and skin grafts.  When she returns home, she is back at the stove, making another hot dog and cheered on by her mom who claims she should not be afraid of anything!

So begins a life of chaos.  Jeanette’s mother is an artist and writer who does not believe in rules, structure or discipline and who clearly wrestles with depression.  Her father is a brilliant man but cursed with alcoholism and is unable to maintain a job for any length of time.  Whenever the family begins to get behind on paying the few bills that they actually pay, or gets in trouble with the law, the family picks up in the middle of the night, without packing anything, and moves to a new town to begin anew.   The children frequently are hungry and forced to scavenge for food, in dumpsters, in the cafeteria garbage cans at school.  They are frequently the target of derision and even violence by their peers, because of their abject poverty.  What enables her to survive is the powerful bond between Jeanette and her siblings who protect each other fiercely.

And yet, what makes this story so moving and so engaging is the complex nature of the relationships between Jeanette, her siblings, and her parents.  Like all people who do bad things (or make poor decisions), her parents are complicated.  Her father, for example, who often drinks away the family’s money meant for food, also imparts wisdom to his children.  On a particularly touching and moneyless Christmas Eve, he takes each of his children out to look at the stars and “gives” each of them their favorite star as a special present.  There are these very touching moments that he does share with his children that make him a somewhat sympathetic figure.

So while I found myself yelling out loud at her parents and feeling aghast at some of her experiences, I understand why Jeanette had sympathy and love for her parents.  They were still her parents, no matter how neglectful or irresponsible they were.  She tells her story honestly and simply and vert clearly presents her struggle to love them in spite of her knowing even very early on that her parents were often wrong.  Her story is probably more common than we would like to think as is this struggle.

I am glad that I finally made myself read this.  It’s not easy, but I think it’s an important book to read.