I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Posted on by marjorieseidenfeld

This memoir, with its shocking title, was an irresistible read. Jennette McCurdy, a child star on iCarly, a 1990’s Nickelodeon hit, reveals her lived experience growing up with her mom, Debra McCurdy. From her earliest memory, Jennette learned that pleasing her mother would bring approval, peace and possibly even love – so this became her constant obsession. Whenever Jennette had her own thoughts or preferences, she would find that it was easier to suppress those and just go along with whatever her mother’s preferences were, even when it meant her doing the things she hated – including acting!

As shocking as the title is, so, too, are many of the details of Jennette’s life. So as not to give too much away, I will hold back on these, but suffice it to say, her mom was a narcissist, a hoarder, a pathological liar, and an abusive wife and mother. Nevertheless, this story is told with an admirable dose of humor, humility, and compassion, even when resentment and anger would be entirely justified. Jennette pays a heavy mental health toll for her upbringing and I am hopeful that writing this book was cathartic and therapeutic for her. I have to imagine it was.

One of the consequences for her that I will reveal – skip this paragraph if you plan to read it and don’t want to know anything about her before you do – is that she developed an eating disorder. In fact, at age 11, her mother actually instructed her in exactly HOW to have an eating disorder, which is more the point. They co-restricted, rejoiced together in how little they ate, almost competing in how few calories they might consume in a day, and monitored Jennette’s weight together as a mutual obsession. Her weight became a measure of how “good” she was, in every way possible. And this is how she learned to define herself, her weight truly defined her.

If you’ve read any of my other entries in this blog, you’ll know that this is not the usual genre that I read. I do not generally read about TV or pop stars. But this memoir had its own merits, not because of how famous Jennette is but more because of what she endured and what she fought to overcome. She is an admirable young woman and I hope that she continues to fight the good fight. I hope she succeeds in finding who she is underneath it all.

The Consequences of Fear by Jacqueline Winspear

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Maisie Dobbs is pulled in once again to a new case, when she learns of a young boy, a messenger in London during WWII, who is witness to a brutal murder. The problem is that those around her seem to not believe this young boy, who, to her, seems not only trustworthy, but also in danger himself and worthy of protection. So even while she is caught up in clandestine work for the British defense against the Axis forces herself, she cannot resist delving into the details of this case as well, even when it might put her and those around her in potential danger.

I should probably have read this series in the order they were written, because there are recurring characters and continuing story lines. Nevertheless, each book is a stand-alone novel and a story worth reading and I have found each that I have read engrossing, entertaining, and endearing. Each character is written with charm and wit and the relationships between the characters are quite beautiful. For example, the working relationship that has developed between Maisie and her assistant detective, Billy, has grown into a collegial and respectful,  and yet tender and caring one. They are a formidable yet wholesome team. 

This series is a fun mix of historical fiction and mystery/suspense that always achieves just the right grittiness and never disappoints.   

The Burnout by Sophie Kinsella

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Sasha has reached her limit. She can no longer keep up with the emails, the workload, the exasperating demands that her boss keeps piling on with unrealistic expectations because of their absurdly short staffing. When she tries to express this to his brother, the founder of the company, she is so rudely ignored that her anger drives her to a breakdown of sorts. Within days, she finds herself “getting away from it all” to a beach resort that does not exactly measure up to her memory of what it had been in her youth. But she rises above, goes with the flow, as they say, and she finds that ultimately, she is able to find her way to being more honest both with others and with herself about what she needs to be happy and fulfilled.

This story is one of those lighthearted indulgences that you take with you on a vacation and read with pure pleasure. There is no work to it, there is no deep thought – it is just good, clean fun. Sophie Kinsella is reliable for this – for sweet, charming characters that will soften your heart and make you giggle and give you a chance to escape from our crazy world for just a bit. We know where the story will ultimately lead and we know it will all be ok – and sometimes, we just NEED to know that it will all be ok.

A delightful escape novel for those looking for one…!

Yellowface by RF Kuang

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June Hayward is ambitious. She knows in her bones that she was born to be a writer, and in spite of the fact that her family will not see it as a legitimate career, she is determined to prove this to be true. And even as she has faith in her own potential, she cannot help but worship Athena Liu, who has become, straight out of Yale where they met and became friendly, an overnight success. Where June ultimately takes this drive, this deep need for acknowledgement will likely shock you — again and again and again.

This story is an indictment of both the publishing industry and social media. The hoops that potential authors must jump through to get to be seen creates an almost closed loop for so many. If you don’t have an agent, you cannot get your manuscript looked at by an editor – but if you’ve never published, it’s almost impossible to get an agent. If you do succeed in breaking through, you may become either the newest darling of the industry or depending on public opinion, the newest pariah. And it is not necessarily the case that any publicity is good publicity.

And social media, magnifies any controversy ad infinitum. When June is outed for the controversy she starts with her book, for example, the online discourse goes utterly viral. She cannot get out from under this. There are some creative ways in which she attempts to handle the attacks, but they mostly backfire – as they often do. And they are personal, cruel, and, well, yes, true. But we still feel a bit sorry for her, which is the beauty of this book.

In spite of her deeply flawed logic and her repeatedly poor decision-making, we are still sympathetic – at least to a point – toward June. We get her – we are able to see her, at least in part, as an underdog and, in a way, we do sort of root for her, in spite of her persistently absurd choices. Which is what makes this book a fun read in spite of all the cringing we cannot help ourselves undergoing throughout. It verges on funny, on sad and on absurd – all at the same time. But always, consistently, cringeworthy.

Definitely a worthwhile and entertaining book to delve into!

Tom Lake by Ann Patchett

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Lara is aware that there is great suffering in the world, but for the moment, she is counting her blessings. Her three daughters, who’d gone their independent ways, have come back not only out of necessity – to help work their cherry farm, when so many of their usual hands are not available – but because their own lives have been put on hold for now. And since they are together, Lara’s colorful past has become the target of the girls’ interest. What was the actual story of Lara’s romance with this famous actor they’ve been watching in this movie over and over? Who was this larger-than-life Duke and what was it like to act with him? They have had bits and pieces of her story over the years, but now they have the time and maturity to hear more of the details. And Lara now has the patience to tell her story. Well, most of it.

So, once again, we have here a story within a story. Without even mentioning the word Covid once, the author makes it clear that the family is podding together as the world shuts down. But that remains a mere backdrop, and the focus is definitely on the positive of the time the family has together. They are working side by side as they never have before – at least not as adults. And as Lara shares her story, we hear it too. And it is bright with the hope of youth and dark with the heartbreak of young, naive love.

The writing here is typical Ann Patchett-beautiful. There is warmth, nostalgia, and a subtlety that comes from a writer who can portray a story without over-dramatization, without hyperbole. Each character is so genuine they might be your next door neighbor, but their story is nevertheless so tangible it stays with you long past the turning of that last page. Even those characters who do have dramatic presence, such as Duke, have clear vulnerabilities, obvious flaws, such that they are also so human and entirely relatable. This is absolutely a gift.

And we are so lucky to have the opportunity to partake of this gift of Patchett’s. In fact, this may actually be a MUST READ. I’d love to hear if you agree!

 

The Keeper of Stories by Sally Page

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Janice quietly sees herself as a cleaner. She takes pride in her work, and she while she does quite a bit more than just clean for her clients, she contents herself with the knowledge that she does her best. As she does, however, she also quietly collects the stories of the clients she serves, getting to know who they are, what they’ve lived through, and seeing not only who they project themselves to the world but who they are on the inside. When one of her clients asks her to add on her mother-in-law, an elderly but feisty woman with a store of her own stories to share, she ends up opening up the world for Janice in a way she would never have expected.

I found this to be a surprisingly beautiful novel. The multiple layers of stories, the many colorful characters, each with their own quirky tale, add so much without confusing the underlying plot in the least. And while there is true affection that develops between Janice and Mrs. B, the elderly mother-in-law, for example, it is the furthest thing from saccharine-sweet. They are alternatingly vulnerable and deeply sarcastic with each other and you never know if they will be hiding from each other their tears or their smirks. Likewise, the relationship that develops between Janice and her crush, the “geography professor” bus driver. While it develops in fits and starts and you’re never sure if Janice will allow herself the happiness you’re sure she’ll find with him, you root for it with all your heart, because you feel the warmth there. It radiates from the page.

Underlying the story here is how guilt can plague us, hold us back, allow us to punish ourselves indefinitely. So many of us cannot bring ourselves to forgive ourselves for our past, for something we’ve done, for something perhaps even out of our control. Not forgiving ourselves – just as not forgiving others – can be toxic. It is something we have to let go. It is hard to do – sometimes it’s the hardest thing to overcome. But it can be liberating as well, when you come out the other side of it. That is the message here. Something we can all probably use in this moment of division and difficulty even with civil discourse.

Maybe this novel is not quite to the level of a MUST READ, but it’s pretty darn close! You’ll definitely love Janice as she shares all of her stories with you!

The Clover Girls by Viola Shipman

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Violet, Rachel and Liz have each just received a letter from their old camp friend, Em. While they’ve all lost touch many years ago over a few deep-cutting, mean-girl incidents, Em has kept track of all of them. In fact, even as she has been dying of cancer, she’s managed to create a plan to entice them back to the camp that had once united them. And even if she is no longer around to witness it, she has taken steps to ensure that they repair the wounds they’ve inflicted.

Sooooo…. I hate to say this, but this novel was one I would NOT recommend wasting time with. Even if you were a die-hard camper, even if you experienced girl drama as a kid – even if you just like women’s fiction – at least in my opinion, this is just not worth your time. I kept hoping that something would not work out perfectly, that something would not be a cliche. It was disappointing, particularly since each of the 3 main characters began as interesting, in and of themselves. Sadly, even as they confronted the conflict in their lives, everything fell much too neatly and predictably into place. Even the boy crush from years past was conveniently the owner of the boys’ camp across the lake and – surprise, surprise! – still available and still interested in the character who’d been pining for him all these years. (Cue eye roll!)

I would have loved to love this book. The intent is clearly to foster women empowerment and to uncover how these women are moved to empower each other as well as future generations, as they overcome their own obstacles. I am all for that. Unfortunately, the means didn’t justify the ends here – the “means” was just too painful.

Cassandra in Reverse by Holly Smale

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Cassandra is definitely NOT having a good day. She’s been broken up with by her boyfriend of 4 months, she’s being fired by her boss, and they actually don’t even have banana muffins at her favorite pit stop. How can they be out of banana muffins??? When she learns suddenly on this day that she has the gift of time travel, she wonders, maybe, can she reverse some of these things that have happened? More importantly, can she reverse the bigger things that have affected her life? As she learns about how this new “gift” actually works, she also learns quite a bit about herself.

No one can describe what it’s like to be inside the mind/body of an autistic individual as one who is autistic – and this autistic author gives us the gift of sharing that experience by creating a brilliant, sarcastic, awkward, and deeply lovable autistic character in Cassandra. We feel for her as she struggles with her social interactions and we cringe on her behalf as she is challenged with various overwhelming noises, textures, and changes in her routine. She tries to learn from her prior experiences and she tries to “undo” – as we all wish we could, at times. And her journey is as entertaining as it is endearing. What she learns to appreciate is that she has to be true to herself and treasure who she is and the good she alone can bring to the world.

And don’t we all have this to learn? While we’d all like to change certain parts of ourselves, it may be more valuable to appreciate what we can do instead of trying to change what we cannot.

 

Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers by Jesse Q Sutanto

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Most days, Vera begins her routine with a very early morning walk, multiple, prodding texts to her son, and service to her most loyal – and singular – customer at her “World Famous” tea house. Most surprisingly, however, today Vera stumbles upon the body of a dead man right there on the floor of her shop. What no one suspects, however, is how very efficiently Vera can solve the mystery of who killed this man- because truly, what do the police know, anyway??? Very quickly, Vera finds herself embedded in the life of this man, connected to those around him, as she finds a way to the truth.

If you’ve ever had a mother – and I suspect many of you have -you will relate to Vera’s delightfully pushy, guilt-inducing, and extraordinarily generous character that is the driver of this novel. She is a force to be reckoned with, a woman on a mission, a person to whom no one can say no. And since she observes that each of the other characters is struggling in their own way, she cares for them in her very maternal manner — even as she is accusing each of them of being a suspect of the dead man’s murder! There is such lovely irony you cannot help smiling throughout the entirety of the book.

Is this story a little contrived? Yes. Is it too perfectly wrapped up, as I complain about often? Of course it is. But I am still going to rate it as a MUST READ, because right now, in this dark moment, we all need a book like this one – one that is pure entertainment, about warmth, and about love.

 

 

The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave

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Although she did not grow up in a traditional family, Hannah has found herself now with a dream husband, Owen, and his teenage daughter, Bailey, and she’s moved quite happily into their home, into their lives. While she is still working on gaining Bailey’s “approval,” she is very much in love with Owen, and appreciates the love, the independence, and the respect he shows her. Which is why she is stunned when one day, he suddenly disappears, leaving her with a note saying only 2 words: Protect her. It is clear to Hannah who Owen means, but it is not at all clear why or how she must accomplish this.

This is definitely a fun read – full of suspense, sharp characters, and a twisty plot that kept me guessing and those pages turning throughout the book. I also had an opportunity to learn a bit. I never knew the term “woodturning” – which was the trade of the main character, Hannah. Having looked it up, I realize that we’ve all probably purchased items produced by these craftspeople but looking into how it works, the use of the lathe, and the techniques involved, it is quite impressive.

On the other hand, I felt the plot was a bit easy. The search for Owen, truly finding a needle in a haystack, sort of fell into the laps of Hannah and Bailey in some ways. As they followed remote memories of Bailey’s, that may or may not have been valid, they were lucky enough to have stumbled just upon the correct direction enough times that it worked. But I suppose that is why this is fiction, right?

On the whole, it’s a worthwhile read, a much-needed distraction in this very tense moment in our world, and I say, go for it!