The Ride by Kostya Kennedy

Posted on by marjorieseidenfeld

Most people likely assume, as I have, that Paul Revere merely rode one night, alone, shouting, “The British are coming, the British are coming!” to alert the American militia to ready themselves against the beginning of the War of Independence – and that was that. Most people do not know that Paul Revere actually had a long history of trusted connections with the founding fathers based in the Boston area, namely John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, and the Reverend Jonas Clarke, and that he rode on many occasions to deliver vital information in secret to the various players involved in coordinating efforts to liberate America from the ever-encroaching British. In fact, if he had shouted that the British were coming as loudly as we imagine from the common lore, he would have been found out and captured, thwarting his effort to get the word out, ensuring failure of his mission altogether. Here in this deeply researched and warmly shared tale of the life and accomplishments of Paul Revere and his compatriots, we learn what actually happened that night, long ago, at the birth of this nation.

Usually a sports writer, Kostya, Kennedy has chosen a topic that is still well within his arena, as he gives life to the ride itself, to Revere’s background, to his connections, and to his industriousness. He answers the question of why Paul Revere? Why was he chosen to deliver this message? Why was he, above all others, trusted? And although there were others who helped him on that fateful night in April of 1775, he was the primary source of intel because of who he was, how reliable he’d proven himself, how sociable and believable he could be, and what a skilled rider he had become. Kennedy sets the stage for us, gives us the background, the complex historical details leading up to that fateful night, and builds the suspense for us so that we truly understand the weight and the danger of Revere’s mission, of the Ride.

This is definitely a part of history on which I am weak – but it is so important for us to understand. In this moment when our democracy is being challenged on so many fronts, I feel it is crucial for us to appreciate how hard-won it was. Thousands of lives were lost to win this delicate, precious freedom we take so for granted. Paul Revere was just one of our heroes, but there were so many. We must learn about them, celebrate them, revere them as it were – and not take them or democracy itself for granted. Because it is fragile. It can be lost. And then we will all be lost.

Ina Garten: A Memoir; Be Ready When the Luck Happens

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In this memoir, Ina Garten, of Barefoot Contessa fame, shares her story, her breakthrough into the world of epicurean cuisine. And while she shares some vignettes of the challenges she faced along the way as well as the hard work and long hours she put in – especially in the beginning of her career -it is clear that she was fortunate enough to frequently happen to be in the right place at the right time, both in her personal life and her professional life.

I had heard much ado about this book, and so had very much been anticipating reading it… which made it doubly disappointing when I found myself giving up on it around page 100. I so rarely abandon books, but I decided it was not worth my continuing to plow through the pages of Garten’s self adulation. I found it repetitive and dull and kept waiting for the bigger stories that would make the book worthwhile. Perhaps I should have stuck with it, as there may have been more glamorous parts, but honestly, glamour doesn’t impress me as much as genuine reflection. Even when Garten discloses difficulties with her father’s temperament, which of course must have been painful, she keeps it, I felt, at the very surface. We don’t really get to the heart of it, what it really meant to her and to her family more than it meant much time for her in her room, avoiding him. It feels like she tried to paint a picture for us, but it was in a vague black and white. I was seeking color.

Again, perhaps I gave up too early, but I will live with that. I’d love to hear your reactions, particularly if you’ve read it and loved it!

Them by Ben Sasse

Posted on by marjorieseidenfeld

I believe it’s important to know that the full title of this book by the former, conservative Republican senator from Nebraska, Ben Sasse, is actually: Them; Why We Hate Each Other and How To Heal. I am not conservative, nor have I ever voted Republican – but this is exactly why I was curious about reading this book.

What Sasse observes in this book, and what we can all see quite clearly, is that our country is so painfully divided, so diametrically polarized. We are distrustful of the news outlets that are available to us either because 1) they are run by an intellectual elite or 2) they have become faithful only to the almighty dollar, dependent on the outrageous and extremism that is clickbait. Those who turn to social media for their news are even more vulnerable, because they are most likely getting their information from Russian bots or from some creative teenager in the basement of their midwestern parents’ home. Furthermore, the idea of community, from which we derive identity, security, – happiness even – has all but dissolved as we become more mobile in search of the perfect job, the ideal opportunity to earn more money, the next best thing.

Not to worry, though. There are answers. Of course, they don’t come easily and they don’t come quickly. The answers take time, effort, energy and lots of commitment. We have to want to heal. We have to want to come back together. We have to want to have those difficult conversations that will enable us to find what we have in common that will bring us together. We have to be able to say, “OK, I disagree with you on X and Y, but I agree with you on Z, so let’s start there.” We have to be able to come together with folks we have differences with and be in community with those people, because we are stronger together than we are apart.

The bottom line is that if we continue along this fractured, divided path – we become vulnerable to our real enemies. Putin is just sitting and watching with glee, noting all of our polarization and waiting for just the right moment to pounce. United we stand, remember?

So, I figured that reading literature such as this, written by someone who comes from a world so different from mine, with a political philosophy so opposite from mine, was a first step. And it was a good one. There was much more that I agreed with than I disagreed with, to my surprise. While I completely disagree with his opinions on abortion or the ACA, I agree with his overarching premises and I hope that others will read what he has to say here.

I think this is a MUST READ. I think work like this will do much to save our country. We are in deep need of more like this.

The Gates of Gaza by Amir Tibon

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On the eve of October 6th, 2023, Amir Tibon and his wife Miri thought that all they had to worry about was how their 3-year old daughter, Galia, would perform in her dance for their kibbutz celebration the next day. She’d rehearsed with her kindergarten that evening but no one knew how these little ones would do in front of an audience, even among the familiar faces of their close-knit community. They had no idea that the next morning would begin the most harrowing ordeal of their lives: the invasion of the lush, peaceful green of their kibbutz by hundreds of armed Hamas terrorists who had the mission of killing, maiming, burning, and capturing as many Israelis as they possibly could. Amir and Miri rushed immediately into Galia’s and Carmel’s(1 year old) bedroom, also their “safe room,” a room built to protect them against rocket shelling but certainly not machine gun blasts or fire explosions (many safe rooms did not have locks on the doors). This is where they waited, in the dark, with a few water bottles, no bathroom, food or electricity for 9 hours while they heard screaming and gunshots just outside their door. All they knew was that Amir’s father was coming to rescue them. But when? And how?

This is not only a MUST READ, but should be compulsory for everyone who believes they have formed an opinion about the conflict between Israel and Hamas/Iran/Hezbollah. For while Tibon, a journalist for Haaretz for many years tells his and his family’s heroic story, he also tells the backstory of Hamas, of Israel, of Netanyahu, and how it came to be that we are here in this hideous quagmire in which we find ourselves. He of course tells his own story from his own perspective. He cannot do otherwise. But he tells the historical perspective with journalistic integrity, having done extensive research, interviewed many on all sides, and does so with an honesty that is almost uncomfortably brutal.

What comes to light, is that there have been clear and present signs, over the past many years, that have been ignored, most shamefully by Netanayu and his enablers, that this attack by Hamas was inevitable and imminent. Qatar had been funding Hamas for years, with the tacit agreement -even encouragement – by Netanyahu. While this funding was supposed to go to the civilians of Gaza to improve their lives, to build schools, parks, businesses, hospitals, community centers, etc., it instead went to the construction of the notorious, massive, high-tech tunnel system. Hamas used these tunnels not only to import ammunition and money, but also to hide its planning, readying for this military attack on Israel. And while it did not accomplish all it set out to do, it accomplished the capturing of hundreds of hostages, many of whom are still, a year later, being held down in cages in these dark, dank, airless, food-less tunnels to this day.

And it is clear that while both sides have a claim to the land, and there are some on both sides who seek peace, the years of wars and militancy have pushed more to the extreme on both sides. Even while hundreds of thousands of Israelis have been protesting in the streets against the extreme right-wing government in Israel, there are still thousands of Israelis who are extremists in their own right. Many of the settlers in the West Bank have carried out horrific terrorist attacks on their Palestinian neighbors – a disgrace in the name of religion. But just as evil, if not more so because of scale and scope, is the terrorism that has been ongoing by Palestinian extremists, Hamas included, who have been holding their own citizens hostage, in a sense, using them as human shields, as well as carrying out horrific terrorist acts on Israelis in the name of their religion as well.

Bottom line, this is a fraught, complicated, nuanced issue where many have sought to establish compromise and too many have interfered. Extremists on both sides have refused to accede the middle ground, to see any path to compromise. On the few monumental occasions when we’ve bravely come close, extremists have thwarted these attempts. It feels hopeless.

But all we have is hope, so we have to continue to hope.

There is a solution: there could be 2 states, side by side, if extremists on both sides would lay down their arms and compromise. It would take a replacement of both current governments – Hamas and Netanyahu’s government – to proceed to that ideal. It would take Iran’s government changing and staying out of the current mix.

It might take a miracle to open those Gates of Gaza.

The Best Minds by Jonathan Rosen

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When Jonathan Rosen moved to Mereland Rd. in New Rochelle at the age of 10 and met Michael Laudor who lived down the block, their friendship was immediately kindled. Jonathan was taken by the brilliant, athletic, and charming personality that Michael exuded, and he felt constantly challenged, entertained, even a bit intimidated by him. While they remained close friends through elementary, middle and high school, their friendship took on a bit of a competitive edge, and when they both were accepted to Yale University, they remained friendly but found divergent paths. Jonathan now writes about his friend not because of this friendship, but because of the perspective that this friendship lends him. Because eventually, Michael, while truly brilliant and charming, was also diagnosed with schizophrenia, and this became Michael’s ultimate challenge.

This is a topic of epic importance, particularly in this moment when so many are suffering from mental health disorders. It is vital that we acknowledge that these conditions are prevalent, need appropriate high-quality treatment, and should not be treated as if they do not exist. And it is urgent that it is brought to the attention of the masses, so that there can be discourse on how best to address the needs of the most ill among us, particularly those with the possible propensity to lack control over their actions, even to the point of violence toward others or themselves.

This book, was disappointing in its efforts to accomplish this, however. I found it utterly frustrating in the overwhelming number of detailed tangents, distractions, and offshoots, while the gist of the story kept getting lost. Whether it was the writing or the editing – likely a combination of the two – I am not sure, but I had a very difficult time getting through. (If I were not reading this for a book club, I would have given up much less than halfway through.) I did not need to know the background of everyone who weighed in on every detail of Michael’s life. I did not need to know every painstaking detail of every historical backstory of everything that was going on at the time each event occurred. I did not need to know every comment from everyone Michael ever met. It was painful. 

I had approached this book with much anticipation. Since I have lived in New Rochelle, have children who went to the middle school and high school here, was familiar with the barbershop and the local toy store Jonathan refers to, I was excited to read about them all in a now-famous book. Moreover, knowing the urgency of this topic, I was thrilled that someone was championing this cause in an accessible story. Sadly, I found this to be neither accessible nor a “story” in the true sense of the word. It was more a textbook with a theme, riddled with too many facts, muddled by an attempt to achieve too much.

I am glad that Michael’s story is told. I am disappointed that his story is so hidden underneath so much data.

 

One Way Back by Christine Blasey Ford

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Within these pages, Christine Blasey Ford reclaims her narrative – without distortion by the media, by politicians, or by any outsiders – of the facts of her experience of sexual assault by the man who is now sitting on the highest court of our land, Brett Kavanaugh. It is here, with a clear mind, a clear conscience, and clear focus, that she is able to communicate her backstory, her patriotic motivation, and the attempts she made to tell her story earlier in order to prevent Kavanaugh from coming to the point of being nominated in the first place (and in so doing, having to be exposed as he was). She tells about her experience of presenting her testimony and the abhorrent dereliction of duty of the FBI in their non-investigation of the case against Kavanaugh. She also bears her soul about the way in which she endured death threats, shaming, and other hateful acts against her that so many other survivors of sexual assault share – the backlash and the victim-blaming that comes with coming forward. She also shares the moments of support, from those whose names we recognize and those we may not. It is an inspiring, albeit painful, recounting of her journey.

It was our hope, at least that of those in my circle, that we in our country had learned our lesson after Anita Hill. That after our horrific treatment of that courageous woman who stood in front of a panel of old White men who battered her with ignorant questions and brazenly shamed her and disregarded her – we hoped we’d do better when another woman so bravely came forward to challenge the character of a man we were choosing for the highest court in the land. But no, we did not. One might argue that we did worse. We instead chose to discredit, shame, and mock Blasey Ford, who so boldly came forward to do her civic duty, who gave up her own quiet, private, comfortable existence to reveal such personal, intimate details of her life in order to bring a man’s questionable background to light. And it was worse because of social media, the 24-hour news cycle, and the internet access to personal information that enabled thousands to send her hate mail and death threats via so many different routes.

In a country of how many millions, we couldn’t find anyone better than Kavanaugh? There was really no one we could find who HADN’T sexually molested anyone??? Seriously? Oh, but of course we had to choose him. Because we have to only choose those farmed and nurtured by the Federalist Society in order to ensure the most conservative justices to make the most civil rights-limiting decisions on the bench. Because heaven forbid that anyone except White men have any power.

And yes, I am using this platform to rant because Blasey Ford needs to have others support her, to hear her, and to acknowledge that she did the right thing by coming forward and speaking up for herself, for women, and for this country. Because she is right. If little by little, woman by woman, each brave soul comes forward (in spite of the vicious backlash and victim-blaming that so often occurs), perhaps our daughters might have a spitting chance of having a better world. Perhaps our daughters will live in a world in which there are men who are more aware of consent and what defines assault. Perhaps when a woman comes forward, the folks in the room – however large that room may be – will actually hear her.

 

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Posted on by marjorieseidenfeld

This memoir, with its shocking title, was an irresistible read. Jennette McCurdy, a child star on iCarly, a 1990’s Nickelodeon hit, reveals her lived experience growing up with her mom, Debra McCurdy. From her earliest memory, Jennette learned that pleasing her mother would bring approval, peace and possibly even love – so this became her constant obsession. Whenever Jennette had her own thoughts or preferences, she would find that it was easier to suppress those and just go along with whatever her mother’s preferences were, even when it meant her doing the things she hated – including acting!

As shocking as the title is, so, too, are many of the details of Jennette’s life. So as not to give too much away, I will hold back on these, but suffice it to say, her mom was a narcissist, a hoarder, a pathological liar, and an abusive wife and mother. Nevertheless, this story is told with an admirable dose of humor, humility, and compassion, even when resentment and anger would be entirely justified. Jennette pays a heavy mental health toll for her upbringing and I am hopeful that writing this book was cathartic and therapeutic for her. I have to imagine it was.

One of the consequences for her that I will reveal – skip this paragraph if you plan to read it and don’t want to know anything about her before you do – is that she developed an eating disorder. In fact, at age 11, her mother actually instructed her in exactly HOW to have an eating disorder, which is more the point. They co-restricted, rejoiced together in how little they ate, almost competing in how few calories they might consume in a day, and monitored Jennette’s weight together as a mutual obsession. Her weight became a measure of how “good” she was, in every way possible. And this is how she learned to define herself, her weight truly defined her.

If you’ve read any of my other entries in this blog, you’ll know that this is not the usual genre that I read. I do not generally read about TV or pop stars. But this memoir had its own merits, not because of how famous Jennette is but more because of what she endured and what she fought to overcome. She is an admirable young woman and I hope that she continues to fight the good fight. I hope she succeeds in finding who she is underneath it all.

The Genius of Israel by Dan Senor and Paul Singer

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Out of all the wealthy, first world countries in the world, Israel ranks 4th in how its citizens rate their happiness. This may come as a surprise to anyone who has visited this chaotic, yet vibrant country that is steeped in history, conflict, and challenge. But what it lacks in tranquility, even civility, it makes up for with the strong connections its citizens build through family, the army, its tech world, and through its acceptance and appreciation of diversity of its people. Citizens of Israel share a common bond and purpose – the sheer existence of the State of Israel, which is no small thing. In a world in which people living in many industrial nations are moving further and further apart, the people of Israel are staying closely bound – and this is the key to their happiness.

What is astounding is that this book was written during a time when so much of Israel was as polarized as a country could be – during massive protests against a government that was trying to undo democracy as it had been known to be. Thousands had been taking to the streets on a weekly basis to confront a government that was trying to take away the checks and balances that their Supreme Court provided to curb any potential government overstep. Netanyahu at the helm, again, was leading the charge to remove any obstacles in his way of having full reign over the country. And yet, it appears, the people were still rating their happiness as high, still feeling that their country was worth fighting for and that they had a quality of life they would not give up.

On the other hand, this book was written before October 7th, which has shifted the world as we know it. It changed Israelis’ feeling of security on a granular level and rattled their confidence in the government’s ability to lead like nothing ever before. Never before had the IDF failed the citizens of Israel as it did on 10/7. Nevertheless, I suspect, that if the citizens of Israel were to be polled now, they would still rate their happiness in the same way. After 10/7, the country rallied together like nothing I have ever witnessed. Citizens – not the government – organized makeshift hostels for the displaced kibbutzniks who survived the gruesome attacks and had to be rehoused further north. Citizens are still coordinating efforts to continue to provide shelter, food, clothing, mental health services, schooling, and other services to the thousands of displaced citizens resulting from the war with Hamas. The citizens are bonded in their efforts in surviving an existential threat of survival, with enemies attacking them from all sides and they are bonded together, supporting each other from within. There is nothing more unifying – or community-building – than this.

Because of the timing, it was difficult to be reading about Israel with all that has been going on – but it also gave a positive spin on what is going on as well, if that could possibly be. In the darkest of times, we must find light, and in these pages, one can find that tiny spark.

True: The Four Seasons of Jackie Robinson by Kostya Kennedy

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Jackie Robinson broke barriers. He broke through barriers when he joined the Montreal Royals, and then he broke through even more dramatically in the US when he joined the all-White, Major Leagues, as a Brooklyn Dodger. With his unique batting stance, his gutsy base-stealing, and his overall agility and competitive exuberance, he was a shining light for his team and for anyone lucky enough to be in the stands to watch him play. And while he encountered innumerable incidents of racism, he always maintained a calm demeanor even as he spoke his mind plainly. Through his larger-than-life image of poise and strength of character, he and his wife, Rachel, became integral to the advancement of civil rights in our country.

In this colorful depiction of the life of Jackie Robinson, we are given an insider’s view of his life and his struggles, his victories and his pain. Kennedy, through extensive research and a clear understanding of the game, gives us not only detailed descriptions of pivotal games played by Robinson – helping us to feel almost as if we ourselves are sitting in the stands – but also how Robinson must have felt during those games. We are deeply disappointed and hurt alongside Robinson during tours in the South, as he eyes his fellow teammates remaining on their bus destined for their all-White luxurious hotels, when he has to get off the bus to stay at a Blacks-only hotel or private home. We feel the resentment he feels as he continues to see, year after year, no Black managers or team officials in spite of his continued advocacy for this. But we are also thrilled by his wins and inspired by his accomplishments.

What I loved about this biography of Jackie Robinson was the tribute given to his wife, Rachel. It seemed that Robinson himself gave her so much credit for his success – and that was evident here in this book. Theirs was a true love story; they seemed to be a genuine team in love and in life. While she was a homemaker for much of his baseball career, she was trained as a nurse and an educator, and she returned to working once their children were grown. Later, she also helped to forge the advocacy and fundraising he began, long after his death.

You definitely have to have an interest in baseball to get through this book, as there are many detailed descriptions of games, plays, and players. But if you do, you will also learn quite a bit about how baseball lived as a metaphor for many, particularly those in the 1940’s and 1950’s, in Jackie Robinson’s heyday, for some movement toward the advancement of civil rights in this country.

Say the Right Thing by Kenji Yoshino and David Glasgow

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There have been so many excellent (and some not-so-excellent) books written about racism, how to be an antiracist, and diversity and inclusion. Many of us have been in trainings, whether through work or community opportunities, to inspire and instill in us an understanding of structural racism and power dynamics. But even while we may have come to have a basic understanding of these concepts, few books lay out the tools of how to be an ally and/or to stay in a growth mindset in such a practical, non-judgmental and concrete way as Yoshino and Glasgow have done here in Say the Right Thing. In addition, the advice here is generalizable to all non-dominant groups – not just racial groups. And, as they point out, almost every one of us may find ourselves in a situation where we are the culprits engaging in non-inclusive behavior, and later be either at the receiving end of it or as an ally. Through vivid vignettes, humble stories about themselves, and relevant research concepts, we are given advice on how to handle each of these scenarios.

What I appreciate most about the writing here is the humility with which the authors share this essential information. While they are both highly qualified to be writing this book – both are attorneys, educators, and come from non-dominant communities – they also acknowledge their own privileges and that we all may fall into spaces of privilege relative to others. Their focus, therefore, is not how to understand the position of the “other” but rather to understand our own obligation to react appropriately when issues arise. We are obligated to check our own reaction if we are challenged by someone about an act we may commit – even unwittingly – and to keep ourselves open to learning how to do better always. They also acknowledge how hard this can be, as almost always our unwitting acts are not with evil intent. But of course, good intent does not preclude harm.

It is an easy read, full of concrete suggestions, and utterly important in this moment of divisiveness and fracture – when communication is essential and understanding is the key to bringing this country back together.

Another MUST READ, I believe.