#@kristenhannah – kindread spirits

Elizabeth and Jack have been having marital disconnect for some time now, but it’s been easier for Elizabeth to just go along and ignore it rather than have to confront what facing it might look like. She knows she loves him – or at least she loves what they’ve had, but things are different now that their girls are out of the house. She’s feeling unappreciated, unseen. When Jack suddenly has an opportunity that turns around his 15-year career slump, Elizabeth sees this as an opportunity for her to begin to explore her own options as well. And while this may bring them apart, it may give them time to begin to really see who they’ve both grown to become.

This is a tender, often sad, novel that many women may relate to. It is so often that smart, talented women have been expected to relinquish their own dreams and goals in order to empower their husbands to achieve theirs. Often women have stayed home to raise children, or even if they do work, it is often on a lesser track so that they can still be around to take care of the running of the household AND earn a salary. While some women may choose this and feel fully fulfilled by this balance, others may not. It may be tainted by a husband who does not value his wife’s hard work, and/or who treats her as the housekeeper/ babysitter/chef, and when he does not find titillating conversation beyond what the children have accomplished that day, the husband may selfishly look elsewhere for stimulation. I believe what this novel suggests is that in a healthy relationship, both individuals have to be given space to be their full selves, supported in their pursuits, and given the time and respect, if financially possible, to explore their possibilities.

But communication is also key. Whereas one might blame Jack in this scenario, as he has wandered and been untrue and has been forgiven, and still takes advantage of his trusting wife, Elizabeth has also not been completely honest. Elizabeth has been stifled by her fear of change, her lack of confidence in her talent, and her general inability to face her emotions. She has not stood up for herself and expressed her anger, her resentment, or even her actual goals for herself. So in truth, blame is to be found on both sides, as is usually the case.

Of all the Kristin Hannah novels I’ve read – and discussed here – I believe this is not her best, but it is still an interesting, engaging one that is relatable, accessible, and ultimately sweet.

Frankie wants to make her parents proud. The idea that women can be heroes too, whispered in her ear by her brother’s friend, has never occurred to her before, but when it is uttered, it hits her like a breath of fresh air. What better way to make her father, especially, proud than to join his “wall of heroes” by enlisting and serving her country as an army nurse in Vietnam? What she finds, as she disembarks from that first plane, is nothing like she’d ever imagined. And what she encounters there, whether she likes it or not, will stay with her for the rest of her life.

Here is yet another MUST READ, gifted to us from Kristin Hannah. It is not an easy one. It is harsh but realistic in its graphic detail of the horrors of the Vietnam war. It is a constant reminder, again and again, of what is lost in each and every battle. It also is historically and acutely accurate in its documentation of how horrifically veterans of this war were treated upon return to their country after their service, as if it were their choice to continue the war that most were drafted to serve in. More importantly, for this story, it documents how horrifically the WOMEN veterans of the war were treated. These women were denied their very existence there. Frankie was told, again and again, “There were no women in Vietnam,” when in fact, there were thousands of women in Vietnam – nurses, and support staff – serving their country, endangering their lives, and witnessing the trauma every day of their lives there.

Is the story all doom and gloom? No, of course not. It is also a story about love. Frankie finds so many versions of love. She finds beautiful friendships that last her lifetime. She opens her heart enough to have it broken time and again, which hurts but also helps her to grow. She also learns to appreciate that love can be demonstrated in many ways, even if it is not how we’d prefer. Frankie also learns to love herself, as she succeeds and fails and succeeds again.

It is an inspiring, gruesome, and heartwarming saga of a woman’s search for meaning and for herself. It is hard – perhaps impossible – not to love this book.