#transgender – kindread spirits

Olivia has done what she can to protect her son, Asher. Raising him as a single mom, providing him a safe home even when money was tight – she has given him all that she could. And he has seemed to flourish, excelling privately in art and more outwardly both socially and in hockey, a sport quite popular among his peers in his New Hampshire high school. When attractive, somewhat shy, newcomer to the school, Lily, arrived, he was in the right place at the right time, introduced to her by his closest, oldest friend and they immediately hit it off. Little did anyone know how it would lead to a fatal incident and a court case that would upend all of their lives.

Out of a literal dream of Boylan’s, grew the coming together of two talents to compose a powerful and insightful work of literature. In this novel, we find every important element: complex character development, the spinning of a suspenseful plot that is constructed both backwards and forwards – and actually works! – and an opportunity to learn. We learn about beekeeping – which is interesting at times but does get perhaps a bit too detailed at other times, in my opinion – and we learn about the experience of being trans, which is, also in my opinion, invaluable.

I find it fascinating how two authors can come together and write a novel that reads so seamlessly. It demonstrates collaboration at its finest. Clearly they have each edited each other’s work such that there is a united style that is woven throughout and it gives the novel a single tone and clear voice.

I also deeply appreciate what we learn from the perspective of the trans voice. While I have personally worked some in this area, I feel I always have more to learn and I always appreciate when I am helped by those who are generous enough to share their experience with those of us cis folks who have had the privilege to have not struggled with these issues. It is not their responsibility to do the work for me, and at the same time, I am grateful to be able to benefit from their thoughts and experience so that I may become better.

This is an important story in so many ways, not the least of which is that it’s a gripping, powerful, and enlightening read. Highly recommend this one!!

becoming nicole

This is a beautiful, heart-wrenching story that is told with a clinical detachment that is utterly unfortunate.

Nicole, who begins her life as Wyatt, an identical twin to brother Jonas, feels from day one that she is a girl. Already identifying with female characters in movies they’d watch, she, before even turning 3 years old, told her father that she “hated her penis.” She consistently yearned to wear girls’ clothing and to play with girls’ toys and fortunately for her, her mother, Kelly, was sensitive to her yearnings and did what she could to support her. Wayne, her father, had a much harder time accepting this side of her and while he loved her, he took many years to mourn the loss of the second son he thought he had. Finally, though, he did come around and rallied to her support and both parents fought for her legal right to use the girls’ bathroom in her school (although it did not save her from being horribly bullied by a boy in her school throughout middle school, egged on by his nasty grandfather). Nicole and her family bravely fought to set legal precedents to protect future trans children from prejudicial and ridiculous harassment because of gender identity, at least in certain states. Hopefully, they will lead others to continue the fight for equality for these people who only want the freedom to be who they are inside.

The only benefit of the “clinical” aspect of the writing is that there are segments of the book devoted to the scientific evidence for brain differences in transgender individuals. I think that in addition to being extremely interesting from a clinical point of view, it also fuels the argument that these people are not going through “phases,” nor are they “seeking attention” as they are often erroneously accused of doing. It gives more objective data for those who cannot just support people for who they believe they are – rather it gives medical justification for those who require this.

On the other hand, it is a shame that the writing could not be as beautiful and as engaging as the story itself was. There was certainly the material there to work with. The characters were certainly heroic and beautiful, the setting was pure Americana, and the story was definitely dramatic, culminating with a huge and wonderful courtroom win. The only tragedy was that the telling of this young woman’s triumph was so terribly dry.

I hope that Nicole and her family know how much we all admire their bravery and hope that she and they do not have to fight any further for her to be accepted for who she is.