#@abrahamverghese – kindread spirits

Dr. Abraham Verghese is a senior medical school faculty member and an infectious disease specialist in El Paso, TX. He is also a huge tennis fan, having played the sport since he was quite young. Upon meeting one of his new medical students, David Smith, who not only is smart and motivated to learn, but has also played professional tennis, Verghese feels he’s met his match, so to speak. Finally, here is someone he has something in common with! Moreover, he sees his own loneliness reflected in the face of this new friend, and he understands that they might be a support for each other. As Verghese learns more about David, and specifically about his addictions, he sees that this relationship may be more challenging than he imagines.

This autobiographical work by Verghese is an emotional and moving portrait of what it feels like to be close to someone who has an addiction as well as to be blindsided by it. While Verghese has clinical experience (albeit in a different area of medicine) and as well as deep compassion and understanding, he cannot help being sucked in to the dramatic ups and downs of his friend’s disease. Verghese becomes the only true friend David Smith has, the only consistency in David’s chaotic life; on the other hand, he is in the awkward position of really not being David’s peer as well as having quite a bit of stress of his own (his dissolving marriage, his worry for his own two young sons). Nevertheless, we watch as he becomes the friend that David comes to rely upon and he finds himself caught up in David’s world.

I did find the story a bit repetitive and predictable, although that may be a function of addiction itself. Many sufferers of addiction bounce in and out of rehab, feeling the low of needing to detox and the high of coming out feeling rehabilitated. While there are many who succeed in remaining sober, it is a daily if not hourly struggle – and the repetition seen here is likely a reflection of this. It may be that one has to convince others even as they are convincing themselves that THIS time will be their time to make it. That seemed to be the case with David – and Verghese may have tried to believe it each and every time. I imagine it is the hardest thing to overcome.

If you’re interested in gaining a deeper understanding of the terrible disease of addiction, if you’d like to learn how loneliness and abandonment can impact an addiction, this book is for you. [Also, be ready for much in the way of tennis details. If you hate the sport, this may not be for you!]

Mariamma is only 12 when she’s told she is to be married off to an older widow. There is nothing to be done, as this is her fate, just as it was for her own mother and those who came before her, in her home in southern India at the start of the 1900’s. She is, in truth, more worried for her dear mother, who herself has been widowed and is now at the mercy of her father’s brother, who perceives her more as a burden than as family. But Mariamma knows she is loved, knows how to love, and this serves her well. She enters her new home with an open heart and embarks upon a journey that brings her both great joys and deep sorrows.

This is a gorgeous family saga that enriches the reader with a deeper understanding of not only Indian culture, but of a bit of the unrest that ensued after the liberation of India from British rule. We immediately bond to Mariamma and her life becomes part of our own. When the plot shifts to focus on Digby, a young Scottish physician who comes to India on a quest to get practical surgical experience, we find ourselves adopting him as well. The characters and their stories are authentic, vulnerable, and gritty and we can’t help but get swept up in their struggles and their joys.

One of my favorite characters here is Mariamma’s husband, who is referred to as Big Appachen. He is a man of very few words, but his actions speak for themselves. He is generous beyond words – he rewards those who are loyal to him (and sometimes those who are not) with land grants and opportunities – and tries to overlook the traditional caste system that divides the people who work for him. While he does not express what he feels verbally, he shows it in the most important ways – through his protectiveness, his generosity, and his kindness. (I know I could learn from this, being one of many words.)

I loved this book. I believe these characters will live on with me for a very long time.

Give yourself the gift of reading it – you will not be disappointed! For sure, a MUST READ!