In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

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In this memoir, Machado shares her experience of a relationship with a beautiful woman that begins as dream-like and erotic and devolves into terrifying and abusive. Through a course of poetic essays, with the Dream House imagery as theme, she portrays how she is entranced, then entrapped, and then, finally, enraged enough to free herself from the woman who has gripped her heart and fractured it in two.

This is, apparently, one of the rare portrayals of queer relationship violence/abuse that is documented by literary means. While books about heterosexual abuse abound, the queer community has been more silent on this topic. It is not uncommon for a marginalized community to feel a loyalty such as this, to hold itself to a higher standard, to try to appear to have achieved a higher ideal. Doing so is an understandable way to try to protect those in the community from further criticism, because, surely, they receive enough as it is. However, by doing so, it denies those who identify as queer as having others believe them , understand their plight, and have others who openly support and identify with them when it does occur. And spousal abuse/relationship abuse can happen to anyone – anyone is vulnerable, no matter your gender identity, your sexual preference, your race, your religion, your ability, your size. This is the harsh reality.

The writing here is poetic and ethereal. The image of the Dream House as both positive and negative images captures the internal struggle of the victim of abuse and the subsequent gaslighting. There can be so much wonder and love and light, but there is also so much darkness and hatred and doom – and it can change in a heartbeat from one extreme to the other. The victim walks on eggshells, constantly apologizing for her own existence. She feels she must have brought this on herself, she must deserve what is happening, because, really, what else could it be? How could someone love her so much in one moment but then hate her so much in another? Maybe if she just acts better, IS better, she can make it right. But of course, it is not her – it is her abuser who is at fault. This is so painfully hard to see when you are in it.

Machado has very generously opened her heart to us. I hope that others come forward with their stories as well in order to create the supportive community that is necessary to acknowledge that this can happen to anyone, queer or otherwise.

 

 

The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave

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Although she did not grow up in a traditional family, Hannah has found herself now with a dream husband, Owen, and his teenage daughter, Bailey, and she’s moved quite happily into their home, into their lives. While she is still working on gaining Bailey’s “approval,” she is very much in love with Owen, and appreciates the love, the independence, and the respect he shows her. Which is why she is stunned when one day, he suddenly disappears, leaving her with a note saying only 2 words: Protect her. It is clear to Hannah who Owen means, but it is not at all clear why or how she must accomplish this.

This is definitely a fun read – full of suspense, sharp characters, and a twisty plot that kept me guessing and those pages turning throughout the book. I also had an opportunity to learn a bit. I never knew the term “woodturning” – which was the trade of the main character, Hannah. Having looked it up, I realize that we’ve all probably purchased items produced by these craftspeople but looking into how it works, the use of the lathe, and the techniques involved, it is quite impressive.

On the other hand, I felt the plot was a bit easy. The search for Owen, truly finding a needle in a haystack, sort of fell into the laps of Hannah and Bailey in some ways. As they followed remote memories of Bailey’s, that may or may not have been valid, they were lucky enough to have stumbled just upon the correct direction enough times that it worked. But I suppose that is why this is fiction, right?

On the whole, it’s a worthwhile read, a much-needed distraction in this very tense moment in our world, and I say, go for it!

 

 

The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel

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Paul has felt lost since the loss of his parents, which has sent him back to his half-sister, Vincent, who apparently feels equally lost. They have never been close, and this attempt to reconnect – or really just Paul’s attempt to find a place to temporarily land – is clearly failing as well. It seems they are just too deep into their own suffering, dealing with their own traumas and mistakes. But at some point, they both find themselves working temporarily in the same hotel on a tiny island off of Vancouver where an incident there launches the two of them into very different and strange directions, from the eye of a scandalous hurricane.

While this book begins with an eerie, atmospheric tone, where it is hard to distinguish the fog of the tiny island setting from that inside Paul’s brain, it gradually moves into more vivid imagery as the setting moves to more urban locations. Further, as the story expands to include more characters, we begin to hear the story from the perspective of those other characters, hearing their voices as they hear them, and seeing their visions as they see them. This is an unusual and effective means of keeping the reader so engaged in the story that we are actually blindsided to the scale of the underlying scandal and subplot when it actually comes to light.

I think what rings out here is the theme of honesty/dishonesty – with oneself and with others. A character is asked at one point if one can know something and not know something at the same time. I say no, not if one is being honest. One can know something and deny it, sublimate it, cover it up, even possibly forget it – but once someone knows something, one cannot honestly un-know something. The most honest character here is Vincent, who is true to herself in many ways. She does know, for example, that the relationship she becomes involved with – with a much older and very wealthy man – is transactional and that she’s entered the “kingdom of money” as she refers to it. She knows she is acting, that it is temporary, that it is not real. She wears a wedding ring, but they are not married – a symbol of their fakeness. Even the best friend she acquires during this time becomes someone who ultimately sees her as invisible.

I would definitely recommend this read – there are so many layers to this story and it is engaging to the end. The characters are steeped in their own psychological battles, while the plot circles around them like a tornado pulling them all into one communal disaster. While you can see it coming, you still can’t bear to look away.

The Rest of Her Life by Laura Moriarty

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Leigh has grappled with her relationship with her daughter Kara for some time now. It feels so much simpler with her younger son, but somehow with Kara, everything she says is wrong, everything she does only increases the tension between them. Now, suddenly, their lives are thrown into chaos when Kara has a horrific accident and needs her mother to be there for her. As Leigh struggles to rectify her issues with her own mother, she finds a path to being the mother she strives to be.

[Full disclosure: I have to admit that I downloaded this book, thinking it was by Liane Moriarty instead of Laura Moriarty. Ha! But in spite of that, it was still a worthwhile read and I plowed through it nonetheless. :)]

While I found this book held my attention and provided the distraction a worthy novel should, I kept feeling like something huge was about to happen that never quite materialized. There were, of course, moments that were significant – but they were subtle and not as dramatic as the story called for, in my opinion. Leigh, for example, had an extraordinarily traumatic upbringing by a mother who was shockingly neglectful. She clearly harbored well-deserved resentment and anger and, of course, like most women, was socialized to repress it. Her sister, for example, found excuse after excuse for their mother, and it did not serve her well. And while Leigh tried so hard – maybe too hard – to be a good mom to Kara, she was unable to connect with her on a basic level, most likely because she had no example to follow. When she did have her “aha” moment, it was so under the radar that I almost missed it. And it was too important not to notice.

So I do recommend this novel, but I also recommend that you pay attention. There are important messages here, but you could miss them if you’re not watching carefully.

 

 

City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert

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Vivian was never exactly interested in following in the path her nuclear family had laid out for her: school, perhaps a temporary job before she settled down to a marriage, and of course motherhood, thereby maintaining the social status comparable to that which she was born into, in her upstate NY, 1940’s, upscale community. So, when, at the age of 19, she failed out of Vassar after essentially never having attended any classes — clearly flouting this path — she was shipped down to Manhattan to live with her equally unconventional Aunt Peg. Here in the heart of the theater district (well, almost), Vivian found her freedom – the ability to explore the city, the ability to express herself in ways she could never have imagined, and also the ability to make mistakes she would gradually learn and grow from.

This novel is just as entertaining as the theater world itself, opening the curtain to both the comedy and tragedy of NYC in wartime 1940’s, the challenges of managing a theater production with all its moving parts, and underneath, the struggle of a young girl finding out who she really is in the midst of all this frenetic drama. As Vivian falls in love with the city and with her newfound theater family, we find ourselves falling in love with each of the characters. Vivian’s Aunt Peg, with all her vulnerabilities, is as generous and forgiving as anyone might be and teaches us the beauty of living in this way. Her “secretary,” Olive, a no-nonsense, teetotaler, who never hesitates to remind everyone how little money they all have, demonstrates loyalty in the most understated and compassionate ways. Peg and Olive become both the liberators and the anchors for Vivian.

The voice of the narration is also quite clever. The story is told by Vivian to Angela, and we only discover late in the game who Angela actually is. We hear her name periodically as the story unfolds, and this reminds us that we are being told a story from Vivian’s perspective to someone in particular with a particular goal. It is a confession of sorts, but without the remorse or regret a confession has because there is no sin, no misdeed. It is just an honest telling. And we love Vivian for her living her life without apology and without regret, as she has lived, for most of her life, an honest life.

This is a beautiful book of historical fiction – highly recommend this!

Happiness Falls by Angie Kim

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“We didn’t call the police right away” laments Mia as she begins to unravel the tale of what happens after her autistic, non-speaking younger brother Eugene, returns from his therapeutic exercise in the park without their father. Eugene is clearly traumatized by what has happened in the park, as demonstrated by his persistent jumping to calm himself for hours and hours, but the family is unable to assess from him what exactly has occurred. As the family searches for their father/husband, in what becomes a missing person mystery, they also learn more about both him and about Eugene – and while the lessons become harder and harder, they also bring the family closer and closer.

As Mia reflects on her search for her father and the family’s approach to figuring out what might have occurred between Eugene and him in the park, Mia realizes that she has been self-absorbed, as a 20 year-old college student might be, as well as biased, as any of us might be.  As she learns more about her father and what he’s been analyzing during his time as a stay-at-home dad, she cycles through various reactions. Similarly, as it slowly dawns on her that her brother Eugene, is capable of much deeper thought than she’d previously understood, she has a mixture of emotions as well. Because her brother is right in front of her, this becomes a crucial part of the story.  Not only does she realize that one’s ability to speak may not be reflective of their verbal skills (they may just not have the ability to actually  vocalize their internal dialogue), but moreover, that one’s verbal skills are not the full picture of one’s overall intelligence, as she’d presumed. 

I certainly appreciated this book for opening my eyes to the possible deeper intelligence of those I may have judged erroneously as having less intelligence just because of their challenges with communication. Whether it is a language barrier because of a foreign nationality, a look that is different from our own, or behaviors/movements that do not match those we may associate with “normal” (whatever that might mean). we presume, judge, and miscalculate others’ abilities based on biases about which we are not even conscious. These feed into our understanding of those around us and we may be dismissive — even rude —  without even realizing we are being so. It is so important that we open our minds and our hearts to these possibilities, because only then can we become aware and hopefully prevent these insults, offenses to others. And in this moment of polarization, the more we can come together, the better.

And not to worry – there is of course also a story here, with a plot, characters, and suspense. It is not preachy, nor bogged down in too much detail. We do empathize with Mia as she parses out her discoveries. and we also develop a strong attachment for Eugene as we discover his personality, his humor. There is warmth without the saccharine. 

A definitely recommended read!  

 

 

The Wife by Alafair Burke

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Angela is caught off-guard when she learns her husband is accused of inappropriate sexual behavior by a student intern in his office. She has feared being in the spotlight because of a traumatic past that she’s worked hard to keep private, but as his profile has become more public, with the publishing of a bestseller and a popular podcast, he is, as she’d predicted, now vulnerable to this kind of negative attention as well. When a second woman steps forward with a new accusation, their world turns completely upside-down and Angela is not sure whom she can trust. How well does she really know her own husband?

This is a twisty whodunnit that is engaging right from the very first page. Even when I was feeling a bit cocky for having guessed some of the plot, there were continued turns and surprises that continued to catch me off my own guard and kept my amusement until the very last page. There are definitely many dark moments, so it’s not a “fun” book per se, but it is a story told with both wit and intelligence. We feel for the characters, although we may not exactly love them, and we see the story from various angles.

I believe my favorite character is the detective investigating the case, Corrine. She is kind, but she is also not to be deterred, ever. She remembers everything and she is no fool. She works overtime, pursues this case because she has a gut feeling and she just wants to see that justice is served.

This was a great book to read right now. While keeping up on the news is crucial right now, it is also important to practice self-care and distraction can be part of that. Reading is a vital part of my self-care… I highly recommend it!

 

The Magnificent Lives of Marjorie Post by Allison Pataki

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Marjorie Post, daughter of the famous CW Post ,had a modest beginning. We meet her as she begins her trip to Battle Creek, MI, in the family’s quest to heal her ailing father. He’d been wasting from a severe depression and sought out the famed Dr. Kellog, to see if he might benefit from the diet, exercise, and fresh air treatment he was known to prescribe. Little did they know that the one who would heal him and be the most inspiring for him was their family’s hostess, who rented the rooms to Marjorie and her mother while CW received his tasteless treatments. She cooked him healthful meals and nursed him with her spiritual inspirations, enabling his soul to be revived. What lay ahead, both for CW and for Marjorie, was a growth of spirit and of creativity that would open their worlds to both unimaginable successes and tragic failures.

This historical fiction is based on the truly impressive and accomplished life of Marjorie Post, daughter of the famed CW Post, inventor of the breakfast cereal – Grape Nuts being the first! – and the founder of the General Foods Empire. Marjorie grew the business, creatively adding their many other types of foods and related products, finding ways in which to make a mother’s life more convenient, and hoping to provide nutritious foods to more families at a reasonable cost. She had an acute business acumen and would not give up on an idea once it worked its way into her brain, and she risked her reputation, her business, even her personal relationships when she knew she was onto something that might help others.

For this she paid a price, most often in her personal life, as many took advantage of her generous nature. Whether it was in her relationships- and she collected a few – or the press, who delighted in using her personal scandals as fodder for their gossip columns. But her true joy was her daughters, her work, and her volunteerism, which she threw herself into with gusto.

A little tidbit I learned from this also: she is the one who built the 126-roomed Mar-a-Lago. I have to confess, I had a hard time being excited to hear about the planning of its layout and the decoration of its rooms knowing who would be its future occupant, but I swallowed it in the name of history and fiction. I went with the spirit of the book. Marjorie was generous with her money, gave to many causes and was all in when times were rough for her country (unlike its current occupant) She was inspiring, actually (again, unlike the current occupant!).

If you are interested in historical fiction and want to know more about this very impressive woman, take a few days to peruse this novel. You’ll meet a lot of famous people, suffer a few heartbreaks along with her, and bask in her successes along with her as well.

 

A Single Rose by Muriel Barbery

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Rose has just arrived in Kyoto to hear the reading of her father’s will. Odd thing is, while she has known of his existence, she has never known him. Why has he asked her to come now, now that he is gone? What can she gain from visiting the sites he’s prescribed for her now? As she travels from temple to garden, she learns about the father she has never known but has now lost.

I had high hopes for this novel, by the author of The Elegance of the Hedgehog, because I’d really loved that first book of hers that I’d read. Sadly, I was bitterly disappointed. While there were scattered sentences that were quite beautiful – ones that could be pondered, discussed, teased out in a philosophy class, perhaps – the book as a whole was, in truth, boring. I found myself about 40% into the novel without much of anything having happened as yet, and really, not much changed as I made my way further. Each day, Rose was taken by her father’s assistant Paul to temple after temple – creating essentially a Japanese version of Groundhog Day – the same thing over and over again, with a bit of romance thrown in just to keep the reader awake (sort of). Yes, we felt Rose’s rage, her awkward statements to the wrong people, her continuous rumination about everything sad in her life. But that served more to alienate us from this main character rather than to endear us to her.

If you like prolonged, repetitive descriptions, minimal dialogue, and vague action – or if your favorite movie is, in fact, Groundhog Day – I’d recommend this book. But otherwise, do yourself a favor and skip this one…

 

Someone Else’s Shoes by Jojo Moyes

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What are the chances of two very different women changing in the same gym locker room at the same time, and accidentally switching bags? And even if it might happen, it sounds harmless enough, right? Well, perhaps it isn’t quite as harmless as it appears. It might just occur when their respective lives are each in crisis and this unfortunate exchange might occur at the most inopportune moment. Or perhaps, is this exactly the bit of upset that each women might need?

If you’re looking for an entertaining story with strong female characters, this is your next read! While we meet both Sam and Nisha when they are each at their lowest, with Sam at her least confident and Nisha at her most snobbish, we definitely grow to like each of them as they each grow to like themselves. We see that each, in her own way, is resourceful, resilient, even kind. Both are battling patriarchal structure and oppressors in their lives and not feeling the love from their female counterparts. As the plot progresses, it is the female bonds that form and strengthen and from which they derive their own strength – and this is what gives them both hope.

I believe my favorite character in this novel is Jasmine. She has so little and is willing to give so very much. She opens her home, her very heart to Nisha, to whom she owes nothing, and she does this asking for nothing in return. She is a great example to her daughter, a great example to us all.

This is definitely an uplifting, empowering novel – fun to read and probably fun to discuss among friends!