Before I Let You Go by Kelly Rimmer

It’s been 2 years since Lexie has heard from her sister, Annie, but she knows that her call can only harbor some tumultuous disaster.  Chaos has always followed Annie, ever since their messy youth, and Lexie has always been there to be the adult in the room and to pick up the pieces for her.  But this call… this blow may be more than even Lexie may be able to patch back together for her.  This may be the one time that Annie may have to rise to the occasion and solve it for herself.  

From the first page, we are locked in.  Rimmer’s writing is fluid and compassionate although we can sometimes guess where the plot will take us, we are still so fond of these endearing characters that we feel compelled to keep turning the pages and follow them through their painful and hard-earned wins and losses.  As the narrative bounces back and forth between Lexie’s current day experience and Annie’s journal entries, we are given a window into both what is happening now and what their explosive past has been like for each of them.  And we cannot help but become emotional as this tender and tragic and beautiful story unfolds.

There is so much to unpack here, but I will try not to give too much away as I try to do so.  One major theme is the injustice of our patriarchal laws around maternal-child welfare.  Our laws that protect the unborn are geared to protect children, yes, but they completely ignore the woman who is hosting the growth of that unborn not-yet-person – and this is obvious throughout this story.  This problem with our judicial system is magnified if that woman/host is afflicted with any kind of addiction.  She is blamed for having a disease that is out of her control.  We do not take away babies from mothers who do not care for their out-of-control gestational diabetes- nor should we! –  but we imprison mothers who use illicit substances while pregnant.  These mothers all have medical issues that need to be addressed, but because one is considered “bad” and one is considered “medical” we place a moral judgement upon one vs the other.  As is pointed out in the novel, we should be spending the money that we use to imprison these women on evidence-based treatment for these mothers, parenting support when the babies are born and on early childhood interventions, if we REALLY want to benefit these children.  Children generally do best when they are with their families.  This is highlighted here so very starkly and appropriately.  

Families are complicated and messy and Rimmer gets this so right.  You cannot help but have your heart melt from this one.  

Another MUST READ!