Like Mother Like Mother by Susan Rieger

Posted on by marjorieseidenfeld

This story begins at the almost end, at Lila’s memorial service, which, of course, Lila orchestrated just before her death. Even in death, Lila was in control: over the ceremony, over what prayers would be uttered, over what emotions would be kindled. And in life, to the extent that she could, she maintained control, never letting feelings interfere with her success. This to the detriment of her family, particularly as her husband and her youngest daughter, Grace, saw it. For these two, life was hard, as they wanted – no, needed – more from Lila. It was unsurprising, though, that Lila was unable to be motherly, given her origin story, which was still unresolved. Did Lila’s own mother die, as she was told she did? Did she run away from her abusive husband? And could Grace live with this question left unresolved?

This is a fascinating story, in that it leads us to question our expectations of “traditional” gender roles. Lila, a daughter and a mother, is fully self-aware in her inability to mother in the common sense of the word, and prior to her becoming one, she acknowledges this. Though her husband takes on the role of both mother and father, he continues to hope against hope that she will change, but people rarely do – and this remains true in Lila’s case. Lila’s two older daughters are comfortable in their situation because they have each other, being close in age – virtually twins – and they move on. Grace, however, is stuck. Stuck in her determination to want a mother, stuck in her frustration with her not having a mother who bakes for the PTA or who picks her up after school.

But the story also highlights these unfair expectations. Why is it that we expect all mothers to be a certain way? In fact, if the story were told as “Like Father Like Father,” it would not even be elevated to the level of “story” at all. If the father had not been nurturing, if the father had not compromised his career to raise the children, or if the father had not been the “manager” for the family – there would be no story, nothing to see here. In fact, when a father does these things, we laud him, we praise him. He stands out. Worse, too, I found myself falling into this pitfall: I felt shocked by some of Lila’s reactions, I felt appalled by some of her comments. Perhaps because it has been my experience that these responsibilities have been shared, I believe that BOTH parents (if there are two) have an obligation to carry the emotional weight of their children, to manage their lives, to show up for them. And they should both be nurturing in whatever ways they can be.

On a more literary note, the book is also a fun read. The characters are easy to get to know and bond with, and the plot has an underlying tension as we continue to wonder what actually did happen to Lila’s mother. I highly recommend this novel – I believe it will entertain as well as make you think. What more could you ask for?

Tell Me Everything by Elizabeth Strout

Posted on by marjorieseidenfeld

Lucy and Bob have developed a lovely friendship over the years. While they are both either living with or married to other people, they take frequent walks with each other, confiding in each other about their lives, their relationships, even random thoughts in a way that they do with few others. Even when Bob becomes involved in defending someone accused of murder, they continue to bond and share their stories. But will they be able to stay just friends? Will the secrets they harbor bring them closer or keep them apart?

I am still deciding how I feel about this book… While reading it, I felt very indifferent about it, almost deciding to give up on it at some points, but not doing so. I am not entirely sure why this was so, but I believe it was because it felt as though the author herself was indifferent toward the characters, that they were just sort of there, living their lives. And even when the characters were interesting or had something impactful to say, it was all presented in such an off-hand manner that it was hard to get excited about any of it. Even the most endearing character, Bob, who was truly kind to everyone around him, was hard to really grow attached to. Perhaps because the author felt this way too?

I also found the author to make use of the colon (the punctuation mark, not the anatomical part) more than any other than I’ve ever seen and in such bizarre ways. It often felt as though Tell Me Everything was more of an expository essay than a novel, that ideas were presented as lists or facts rather than a telling of a story. This did not appeal to me at all.

On the other hand, as I sit here and contemplate the narrative as a whole, with its stories within the story, I feel that one might find it a meaningful read in that it is a commentary about relationships and people’s stories and, ironically, how they get told. While some are more willing to share their secrets with others, some are reluctant to share what they know, and others have kept secrets to the detriment of those closest to them. This comes out gradually as the plot unfolds, in layers, as if peeling away at an onion. And we often judge others without knowing the secrets they harbor, without knowing what they are carrying around with them.

So this may be one of those novels that has to sit with you awhile, that grows on you after you have completed the task of reading it. Maybe too much work? Maybe worth the effort? I’m curious to hear your thoughts…

Among the Mad by Jacqueline Winspear

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Maisie Dobbs, psychologist and private detective, is tapped once again, and this time it’s for help with a case of chemical terrorism. It appears an individual has written a letter to British officials, spewing dissatisfaction on how certain factions of society have been treated and threatening harm to them and many others if action is not taken. Because Maisie herself has been named in this letter, she is brought onto the case, and it is quickly apparent that the author of this letter is suffering, has experienced tragedy, but is also extremely dangerous.

I love this series. I have erred by reading it in completely the wrong order, but because they are so well-written, they are also excellent as stand-alone novels. They serve both as detective/murder-mysteries and historical fiction narratives, and as a series provide vivid details of life in spanning from before the first World War to after the second. This particular one takes place in December, 1931, and one can feel not only the desperation of the Depression that has impacted so many, but also the residual psychological impact of the “Great War.”

Before we had the term “PTSD,” soldiers were diagnosed with “shell shock,” and it was really the first form of trauma that had been even remotely acknowledged. This story describes well how so many, mostly men, were affected by being in the trenches: hearing bombs go off just next to them, feeling explosions blow off body parts, seeing friends killed before their eyes. And so many of them were not allowed to process this trauma, but were forced, because they happened to be physically “ok,” to jump back in to the fighting because the armed forces just needed bodies. And the repeated trauma made for extremely vulnerable men returning to their homes after the war. Their vulnerabilities could manifest in extreme disconnection from their prior personalities, from their families, from their very souls, as is described in this story.

While I think one can skip around a bit, I would recommend beginning the series with the first one, which is called Maisie Dobbs, by Jacqueline Winspear, as it gives an important foundation to the series. And if you can, it is probably best to go in order, but there are a great many books in the series –  it may take you awhile! But the writing is solid, the plots are clever, and Maisie is a strong, ethical and wise character to stick with.

The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo

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Marilyn and David have what appears to everyone to be a fairytale marriage: they met when they were young, fell madly in love, and their love has persisted over their years in that affectionate, singular way that few actually are blessed to experience. In truth, they have faced the many challenges that life brings with it, and they and their marriage are not perfect. Their 4 daughters are complicated and have been so throughout their lives, bringing stress and secrets and divisions that have threatened the very fabric of what defines their family. Could it be that Marilyn and David have created a bar that is set intimidatingly high?

In its own, unique way, this narrative is quite stunning. The author entangles the reader into the lives of each character, by swinging back and forth in time, switching focus from one dysfunctional family member to the other, keeping the plot moving forward inch by inch and only very gradually, very subtly delivering its plot punches. Each comes when you least expect it, dressed as a cruel, sisterly jab, a casual observation or a final word in a chapter. Each one leaving you almost breathless.

The relationship between the two eldest sisters – Wendy and Violet, Irish twins, as they are referred to – is at the heart of the deepest conflict here. They have a love/hate relationship and stab each other with venom when they are not depending on each other for their very existences. It is a sometimes heartless and sometimes heartfelt relationship that I am not sure I would be strong enough to survive. But it also shows the most base side of what two people can feel for one another, how family can at once anchor our souls and set us aflame.

I found this novel truly compelling. I suspect you will too.

 

Can You Keep a Secret? by Sophie Kinsella

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Emma Corigan has a secret: she is terrified to fly. And when her flight home to London from Glasgow suffers some major turbulence and she is convinced she is going to die, she pours out all of her deepest, darkest secrets to the total, albeit handsome and kind-eyed, stranger sitting next to her. She does not die, to her utter shock, but she does return to her life and to her frustrating job where she feels unappreciated and thwarted by her supervisor and her peers. Little does she know that the quiet, unassuming man to whom she’s poured out her soul will reappear in her life, and surprise her in more ways than she can imagine.

While this story is light and fairly formulaic, it is also entertaining and exactly the kind of therapeutic distraction I needed over these past couple of weeks (the inauguration, the absurd executive orders, clemency for the January 6th attackers, — the list is endless). We need fun reading like this in this moment and this was exactly that. It provides just enough tension, just enough amusement, just enough sarcasm to raise both grin and eyebrow, but not so much that you have to use too much of your brain to get through. Emma is sweet, kind, and sensitive – trying to move her life forward while not stepping on others’ toes, which can be challenging in the business world. But she finds unconventional means of advancement and unusual ideas from the real world and she uses them to her benefit.

And, of course, there is a happy ending. Which is not guaranteed in the real world. Another reason to indulge here!

Yes, this is not high brow literature – but it’s good clean fun right now. A healthy escape!

The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon

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It is 1789 and in Hallowell, ME, it is cold. After the night of the dance, a few young men have been caught in the Kennebec River during a quick freeze of its waters, but not before they discover a body just beneath its surface, which they bring to the town tavern (the heart of the town) to be examined. As the midwife and medical professional of the small town, Martha Ballard is called to determine the cause of death, which she pronounces to be murder. The victim is not exactly a popular man in town, as he has recently been accused, along with the judge of the town, to have raped the wife of their minister. And so begin the proceedings, which are clearly biased and contrived. Will justice be rendered at all? And by whom?

This fictional novel is based on the true life of Martha Ballard, a midwife who really did live in this town in the district of Maine (before it was a state), and who delivered hundreds of babies without a single maternal death. Like the Martha of our novel, she too kept a journal – extremely rare for women to do in her time – and this helped to keep her story alive. It was not surprising, therefore, that her progeny also were likeminded caregivers: her great-niece was Clara Barton, the founder of the Red Cross, and her great, great granddaughter, one of the first female physicians in the US, Dr. Mary Hobart.

The narrative itself is embellished with fictional details, however, and it is as captivating as its characters. There are twists and surprises, multiple simultaneous threads, backstories and love stories. Likewise, we come to love not only Martha, but her whole family, and particularly her devoted husband, who supports her in all of her personal and professional pursuits. He supports her, too, in her frustrations and her anguish, as she is unable to prevent the Puritan attitudes (and laws) toward women from playing out in so many unjust ways.

It is a beautiful novel on many levels – historical and literary, legal and ethical. It would make an excellent book for a book club, as there are so many topics/messages/questions to raise for discussion. And it is also just a wonderful read, great for right now, sitting in a warm home, perhaps by a fire, on a weekend afternoon. A book to get lost in.

Another MUST READ for the collection!

Mary Jane by Jessica Anya Blau

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Mary Jane is very excited. She has been hired to babysit for the summer for a very cute little girl who is shy and a bit awkward, just like she is. While she might have joined her friends at sleep away camp, as she had done last summer, she knew she was quite unhappy there, feeling like she longed for time alone, perhaps to just sit and read rather than always having to follow the group who rarely included her anyway. What she isn’t expecting is the unusual dynamic in the family she will be around, how different they are with each other from what she is used to at home in her quiet, reserved household, and how much she will grow.

This is a beautiful, if a bit unrealistic coming of age story, which takes place in the 1970’s, at a time of evolving and clashing cultures and philosophies. Mary Jane has grown up in a very Christian, repressive, uncommunicative family, where her father never speaks, and her mother speaks only to command and instruct. Suddenly, for her babysitting job, she is thrust into a family where folks hug and kiss and demonstrate love naturally, and stereotypic norms are ignored. While many might be thrown by this, Mary Jane embraces it fully. And even while she does try to instill some order into the chaos that is this family’s home, she loves the way they love, she appreciates the openness in their communication. And while she does not fully abandon her own values, she finds a way to combine the best of both.

The characters here are what truly engage the reader. We immediately love Izzy, the exuberant 4-year old Mary Jane cares for. We love her for her enthusiasm, her raw sweetness, and her fear of the witch who she needs to lock out of her room. We love the glamorous couple that Mary Jane must cover for, as we learn of their very human struggles with fame and how that has disrupted and corrupted their lives. And we love Mary Jane, as she is often the “adult in the room,” even as she herself must play two different people, trying to figure out how she can be her true self.

And while the ending may be a bit idealized, it is still worth the read – it is engaging, fun, thoughtful, and will have you reminiscing about the 70’s if you were alive in that time.

Night Music by Jojo Moyes

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Laura is nearly out of patience, having waited on the ungrateful, sickly Mr. Pottisworth for so many years, with only the hope that he will leave his home, her dream house facing the lake, to her and her husband, Matt. While she has her doubts, Matt seems to retain his confidence that this house will become theirs, and that the plans they have for it will come to fruition.

Meanwhile, on what feels to be another planet (the city of London), another family has just been devastated by the untimely death of the father. The mother, Isabel, who, although loving, has been swept up in her career as a musician, traveling often for performances, rehearsals, and leaving the details of her children’s lives to their nanny. Her husband’s death, and their sudden financial reality has brought this to a skidding halt, and she realizes now that it is up to her to be the grown-up in the room.

The way in which these two families’ lives collide becomes the talk of the small town, but also becomes a reawakening of sorts for all of them.

It took me a bit of time to get into this story, and I believe it was because I did not, initially, completely like the central characters. While I felt compassion for their tragedies, I felt as if they each took no responsibility for their circumstances, as if they were detached from their own realities. Of course, for example, Isabel was not responsible for her husband being killed in a car crash, but it was certainly on her to know her family’s financial situation and the details of her children’s lives. Likewise, Laura was absolutely not the cause of Mr. Pottisworth being so cruel and ungrateful, but she knew better than to rely on her husband and his plans,  as he had proven unworthy of trust in the past. Only when they each began to take control of their lives did I begin to form some respect for them and perhaps connect more with their stories.

I think my favorite character, in fact, was Kitty, Isabel’s brave daughter, who actually took control of the family’s situation immediately and only gradually was allowed to become an adolescent again. She was the one who named their reality, cared for those around her, connected with their new community, and called out injustice when she saw it. While she was only 15 years old, she bore the burden of being the responsible one when no one else was. 

This is definitely a worthwhile read, but it may take a minute to buy in, as it did for me.

The Phoenix Crown by Kate Quinn and Janie Chang

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How are four very different women with widely varying histories drawn together in the middle of an earthquake in San Francisco? From the beginning, we meet Gemma, a soprano newly arrived to join the Met Opera Company for a stint in the chorus. We also meet Suling, a young woman promised by her opium-addicted uncle to a much-older doctor, who is saving her pennies by doing extra work as an embroiderer to try to make her escape. These two form an unlikely alliance, along with Gemma’s housemate, Alice, a research botanist to uncover a shocking criminal.

Once again, along with Janie Chang, Kate Quinn has created powerful, unusual, and vulnerable characters for us to love. These women I’ve described, along with a fourth – Gemma’s friend, whom she thought she was following to San Francisco, but who seemed to have deserted her for Colorado – all have creative personalities, complicated circumstances, and strong loyalties. And the twisty plot binds them together into an unlikely kinship that enables them to be there for each other until the very climax of the story.

And while the story does fall into that trap of tying the ends up just a bit too neatly, it also feels right to do so in this case.

I really enjoyed this one. I’d love to hear what you all think!

 

By Any Other Name by Jodi Picoult

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Melina has just been trying to find her voice, mainly through telling stories, composing plays. She has viewed Professor Buford only as a supportive mentor, encouraging her and recommending her to submit her plays to contests, even at the cost of snide looks and remarks from most of her peers. That is, until now, when she suddenly and heartbreakingly sees through his gestures, his attention. But why is it that she must rely on these men around her – mentors, critics, producers – to herald her into the world of theater? When she learns from her father about an ancestor, many generations prior, who was the first female poet to publish in England, she becomes a bit obsessed to research more about her, and finds, to her shock, that she was more than just a minor poet. She finds evidence that her predecessor, Emilia Bassano, may have struggled, just as she is, to be given a platform. It may be that she actually did succeed, however – and it may be that she did so through the name of the most famous poet/playwright of her time.

This is a thoroughly researched, courageous argument that suggests that William Shakespeare had ghostwriters – and that it is quite likely that at least one of them, if not the primary one, was Emilia Bassano. As the plot unfolds through both Emilia’s and Melina’s stories, we hear cogent explanations of how Emilia had more insight, exposure, and concrete, detailed knowledge of the history, characters, and locations of the plays that Shakespeare himself would not have had privy to. (And there was, of course, no internet then for him to access this information…) I will not go into these details, as this is part of the joy of reading this novel, but suffice it to say, I was convinced of the need to question everything I’ve ever understood to be the “works of William Shakespeare.”

Even if you’re not convinced to at least question the origin of the works – and I would find it hard to believe you could not – there is still a beautiful, tragic, and thoughtful story embedded here in this novel. Both Emilia’a and Melina’s characters are passionate and strong and yet vulnerable. We love them, cheer for them, even cry for them. Each story is powerful in its own right; but the idea to cast them as parallels is, in my opinion, pure genius. It highlights the problematic issue that, my god, even when we think things have changed so much after all these decades – centuries! – things have really not changed all that much after all.

I think that, for many reasons, this is a MUST READ. I think as a stand-alone novel, it is outstanding. But for its historical and literary significance, its brave questioning of what we know to be the suppression of women’s voices throughout the ages, it is enlightening and essential.