We Were the Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates

Posted on by marjorieseidenfeld

The Mulvaney family – Michael Sr, Corinne, and their four children, not to mention all their animals – are a boisterous, close-knit, and fairly prosperous family living on a working farm in upstate NY. Michael has worked his way up from humble beginnings, to say the least, and Corinne, who left college to marry Michael, prides herself on knowing exactly what is going on with their 3 boys and 1 girl at all times. And while she adores her sons, she takes particular pride in her beautiful, popular, and smart daughter, who mystifies her by the attention, the phone calls, and the friends she garners (that Corinne herself was never able to). So how is it that Corinne missed the change in Marianne, the alteration in her mood, her habits, even her appearance since the prom a week ago? And how would this affect the Mulvaneys going forward?

This portrait of the gradual demise of a family after a major trauma is tragic, heart-wrenching, and devastatingly realistic. We watch as their communication breaks down, as they increasingly close off to one another, drawing inside themselves, festering in their own grief, unable to reach out to the one who actually is the one who truly needs the nurturing: Marianne. Even Corinne, the mom, who is supposedly the heart of the family, desperately tries to be the glue tying them all to their beloved home. She is coming apart at the seams, fraying and caving to the weaknesses of the men around her, particularly her husband’s. Marianne’s vulnerability, her trauma, becomes her fault. As happens way too often, Marianne punishes herself and is punished by everyone around her, as if she has asked for this trauma. As if something she has done has provoked the trauma she’s experienced. (Which, of course, it has not.)

It is hard to read this novel without becoming angry – at the family, at the community, at society in general. Because this is the story of women. It is set in the 1970’s but it can be anytime, anywhere and it will be true all over again. A man assaults a woman and it becomes her fault, she gets blamed and it becomes all about the men around her. How it reflects on the family. How it must be avenged. How she must have brought it on, somehow. How she must be punished for it, ultimately. Because somehow it is her shame, not the shame of the perpetrator. (Why is this still a thing? It is impossible to comprehend.)

I believe the writing is a bit meandering, with quite a lot of extraneous detail. But within is a story for all time, an important statement about the past and current way in which the needs of women become undermined by those of the men around them. How a single traumatic event can impact an entire family for their whole lives. And how if we don’t communicate, face what is needed with kindness, compassion, and humility, we will never get beyond this hypocritical treatment of women in our society.

The Other Woman by Sandie Jones

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Emily is flying high. She has just met Adam, the man of her dreams – gorgeous, sweet, successful – and it feels too good to be true. Especially after having been burned by her previous boyfriend. She just knows it is right this time, they fit together so perfectly. So why is she so uncomfortable around his mother, Pammie? Why is it that every time they are with Pammie, she feels left out, intentionally snubbed, or worse? Emily is trying so hard to please her – why is Adam not seeing this? Why won’t he defend her? As it becomes more and more Emily’s mission to “out” Pammie and her obvious lying, she becomes more and more entangled in Adam’s family dysfunction. Will she ever be able to get Adam to see the truth?

There are many stories in which I feel that I cannot turn away; yet this one is one in which I felt frustrated not to be able to turn the main character away! More than once, I heard myself almost yelling out of frustration with Emily, admonishing her to just walk away from her untenable situation. I can’t imagine how she’d persist – how anyone would persist – and stay determined to salvage her relationship, in spite of what is clearly a destructive, even demented state of affairs. But then, so many do, right? Even when we see how unhealthy, how not normal, how even abusive a relationship might be. We believe we will fix things, we will convince the other to change. What I did not expect was the VERY surprising ending, which caught me totally off-guard and which made the whole book worth reading, after all.

So while this was something of a torturous experience – of course, all in the spirit of the fun of reading – it built into a worthwhile, albeit a bit insane, venture.

I would LOVE to know what others think of this one! Comments please???

By the Book by Jasmine Guillory

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Izzy was initially delighted at the prospect of having landed a job in publishing. For someone to pay her to read, to be surrounded by books, to put her literary skills to the test at a New York-based publishing house was a dream come true. That is, until reality sunk in, with all its concomitant pressures and workload, essentially being ignored by her senior editor/supposed mentor, and the occasional cloying comment by her associates. Not to mention the entitled, spoiled, famous Beau Towers, whom she had to email every two weeks to try to urge to write his memoir – which had been ignored repeatedly for the past year. At least she has the upcoming conference in LA to look forward to, which, to her excitement, she’d be attending with her best friend, Priya. Little did Izzy suspect that this break in her routine would be the break she needed from her very life.

This fairy-tale-based story is very much like a fairy tale: sweet, romantic, and entirely predictable. Izzy is a beautiful character, an idealistic, talented, clever protagonist wrapped up in a slightly insecure package, daunted by her surroundings, intimidated by the dog-eat-dog world she’s working in. True, she’s also one of a very few people of color in a very White-dominated field, and this intimidates her further. And we like her, with her humor, her charm and her dedication to her art, family and friends. When she comes up with a creative idea, thinking outside the box to try to get this obnoxious client, Beau, to finally answer her and her boss, we cheer her on, excited for her potential win.

But sadly, while the dialogue between Izzy and Beau are initially full of intriguing outbursts and only a gradual thaw, they melt into such banal banter that it becomes a disappointment. The “big reveal” of Beau’s history, his source of his anxiety and tragedy might have been interesting, but it is almost as if the author tired of the story herself and just wanted it to be completed. There are no major plot twists of note, just a host of romance tropes that were, to be honest, saccharine and trite.

I believe, once again, this is a very cute idea that is only fairly well executed. On the other hand, if you’re looking for a way to be distracted from what is happening in the world at the moment with a guaranteed happy ending, this is your story!

Summer People by Elin Hilderbrand

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Beth, and her twins Garrett and Winnie, have just arrived onto Nantucket for the summer. They’ve done this every summer since the twins were born, but this summer is tragically different: they’ve just lost their husband/father in a sudden plane crash. To make things worse, at least in Garrett’s eyes, their father had invited his client’s son, Marcus, to join them on the island for the summer, and Marcus is still coming, even though his family needs this time alone to grieve. When Beth runs into an old boyfriend from years past and invites him and his daughters to join them for dinner soon after they arrive, life gets that much more complicated. And not just for Garrett, but for them all.

This is a story of secrets; that is, how they may be personal or explosive, quietly respected or resentfully detonated. According to Beth, “everyone is entitled to one secret,” but the course of events leads one to wonder if this is true. One may be entitled, and we should all respect this, but things may backfire – and not in a good way.

This is also a story of loss. While the family is coping poorly with their loss, we also feel deeply for Marcus, as he has suffered his own trauma. It was his mother whom the father was defending pro bono to protect her from the death penalty when his plane went down, and Marcus is struggling with his own anger, resentment and sadness. He cannot even bring himself to read the letters she has been writing him from prison. But he grieves quietly, internally, with such composure we worry he might explode.

There is much more to this story than one might imagine. While it does take you to sunnier days, to sandy shores, it is not at all a light summer read. But it is written with warmth and with tenderness, and it captures the imagination as well as your attention throughout.

Burnt Mountain by Anne Rivers Siddons

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Even in early days, Thayer felt out of place in her own home. For while her older sister gravitated to shopping for pretty dresses and searching through the fashion magazines treasured by her mother, Thayer was much more likely to be found shoeless, in shorts and tee shirt, at her little makeshift hideaway by the river. While she cared little for fashion, she did love her books, and she adored both her father and grandmother, who both appreciated her for who she was. When a tragedy befell her family, Thayer knew she could turn to her grandmother, and her grandmother was truly there for her. Or was she?

This story began, as most of those written by Siddons, as a beautiful novel that created characters that we love right from the start. Thayer is at once spirited and shy, smart and awkward, and we bond with her and feel for her from the first word. And through the first several chapters, we are still with her as she struggles, experiences her first love, and loss, and tragedy. But the novel then takes a turn toward the bizarre, and that is where I begin to lose my connection to the story. While I still feel for Thayer, the other characters grow so dark and the plot line so vague, that it becomes almost disconnected to reality itself. And yes, I can believe that people can be dark and evil – I live in this world – but this is just suddenly and so weirdly so that it is hard to remain on board.

I am usually such a fan of Siddons’ writing, so this was a bit of a disappointment. I suppose every one of her books can’t be perfect, can they?

On to the next book, I guess!

The Wedding People by Alison Espach

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Phoebe has had it. She’s checked in to the last available room at the hotel in Newport, where, in spite of the wedding celebrations going on, she will proceed to experience her final evening, alone, in the luxury she so craves for once in her life. Well, alone, until the bride, Lila, barges into her room, demanding she alter her plans so as not to ruin the wedding she’s spent a fortune to plan. Phoebe almost admires Lila’s bald, self-centered honesty, and finds herself matching it with her own snarky bluntness. As Phoebe gets sucked into the drama of the wedding and the family dynamics, she finds it more and more challenging to remain the outsider she has always felt herself to be.

This novel was a delight to read. Even when describing Phoebe’s moments of darkness, it was always done with tenderness, relatability, even humor. And in spite of the moderate predictability of the plot, there were plenty of zany anecdotes and splashy characters tossed in to embellish and entertain and thereby to compensate for it in spades.

I believe my favorite character was actually Juice, the groom’s 13-year old daughter. She was written so beautifully, as a young teen deserves to be. She bounces from pouty silence to spicy irreverence to honest exhilaration, just as an adolescent might. She also observes the adults around her with an innocent but incisive eye and still elicits the gentle care from very adults.

I highly recommend this one – take it on a beach vacation, read it by a fire, or just cuddle up with it in your pajamas and enjoy!

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

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Poor little Jane has found herself orphaned, mistreated by her cousins, and unloved by her aunt who is her only surviving adult relative. While she has been educated, fed (just barely), clothed (in castaway clothing), and housed, she has also been the target of their physical and emotional abuse as well as their general disdain since her arrival at their home following her parents’ sudden death. After a particularly traumatic incident, she is sent away to a boarding school, where her life continues to be difficult but where she finds an inner strength that carries her through her continuous search for happiness and love.

Many of you have likely read this classic – I had not. But after finding myself reading so many novels that referenced it, I felt almost an obligation to enhance my apparently deficient education. So here it is – Jane Eyre, read and appreciated. While I did need a dictionary beside me to ensure I didn’t miss any of it – Bronte’s vocabulary far surpasses mine! – I did find it quite beautiful. The heroine herself is strong, blunt, and unapologetically intelligent. While she is diminutive in size, she is enormous in integrity, humility and character. She is industrious enough to give more than take; wise enough to listen more than speak. She is one we can only aspire to be.

And though the story is a bit far fetched, with coincidences beyond what we might expect to happen in the real world, it is still a plot that captures the imagination and keeps the reader wanting to know what could possibly come next. We are with Jane and her exploits, her journey, all the way. And we root for her until the very end.

This is an old tale, yes, but also timeless. If you haven’t read it, it is absolutely worthwhile. If nothing else, to at least bolster your vocabulary!

Like Mother Like Mother by Susan Rieger

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This story begins at the almost end, at Lila’s memorial service, which, of course, Lila orchestrated just before her death. Even in death, Lila was in control: over the ceremony, over what prayers would be uttered, over what emotions would be kindled. And in life, to the extent that she could, she maintained control, never letting feelings interfere with her success. This to the detriment of her family, particularly as her husband and her youngest daughter, Grace, saw it. For these two, life was hard, as they wanted – no, needed – more from Lila. It was unsurprising, though, that Lila was unable to be motherly, given her origin story, which was still unresolved. Did Lila’s own mother die, as she was told she did? Did she run away from her abusive husband? And could Grace live with this question left unresolved?

This is a fascinating story, in that it leads us to question our expectations of “traditional” gender roles. Lila, a daughter and a mother, is fully self-aware in her inability to mother in the common sense of the word, and prior to her becoming one, she acknowledges this. Though her husband takes on the role of both mother and father, he continues to hope against hope that she will change, but people rarely do – and this remains true in Lila’s case. Lila’s two older daughters are comfortable in their situation because they have each other, being close in age – virtually twins – and they move on. Grace, however, is stuck. Stuck in her determination to want a mother, stuck in her frustration with her not having a mother who bakes for the PTA or who picks her up after school.

But the story also highlights these unfair expectations. Why is it that we expect all mothers to be a certain way? In fact, if the story were told as “Like Father Like Father,” it would not even be elevated to the level of “story” at all. If the father had not been nurturing, if the father had not compromised his career to raise the children, or if the father had not been the “manager” for the family – there would be no story, nothing to see here. In fact, when a father does these things, we laud him, we praise him. He stands out. Worse, too, I found myself falling into this pitfall: I felt shocked by some of Lila’s reactions, I felt appalled by some of her comments. Perhaps because it has been my experience that these responsibilities have been shared, I believe that BOTH parents (if there are two) have an obligation to carry the emotional weight of their children, to manage their lives, to show up for them. And they should both be nurturing in whatever ways they can be.

On a more literary note, the book is also a fun read. The characters are easy to get to know and bond with, and the plot has an underlying tension as we continue to wonder what actually did happen to Lila’s mother. I highly recommend this novel – I believe it will entertain as well as make you think. What more could you ask for?

Tell Me Everything by Elizabeth Strout

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Lucy and Bob have developed a lovely friendship over the years. While they are both either living with or married to other people, they take frequent walks with each other, confiding in each other about their lives, their relationships, even random thoughts in a way that they do with few others. Even when Bob becomes involved in defending someone accused of murder, they continue to bond and share their stories. But will they be able to stay just friends? Will the secrets they harbor bring them closer or keep them apart?

I am still deciding how I feel about this book… While reading it, I felt very indifferent about it, almost deciding to give up on it at some points, but not doing so. I am not entirely sure why this was so, but I believe it was because it felt as though the author herself was indifferent toward the characters, that they were just sort of there, living their lives. And even when the characters were interesting or had something impactful to say, it was all presented in such an off-hand manner that it was hard to get excited about any of it. Even the most endearing character, Bob, who was truly kind to everyone around him, was hard to really grow attached to. Perhaps because the author felt this way too?

I also found the author to make use of the colon (the punctuation mark, not the anatomical part) more than any other than I’ve ever seen and in such bizarre ways. It often felt as though Tell Me Everything was more of an expository essay than a novel, that ideas were presented as lists or facts rather than a telling of a story. This did not appeal to me at all.

On the other hand, as I sit here and contemplate the narrative as a whole, with its stories within the story, I feel that one might find it a meaningful read in that it is a commentary about relationships and people’s stories and, ironically, how they get told. While some are more willing to share their secrets with others, some are reluctant to share what they know, and others have kept secrets to the detriment of those closest to them. This comes out gradually as the plot unfolds, in layers, as if peeling away at an onion. And we often judge others without knowing the secrets they harbor, without knowing what they are carrying around with them.

So this may be one of those novels that has to sit with you awhile, that grows on you after you have completed the task of reading it. Maybe too much work? Maybe worth the effort? I’m curious to hear your thoughts…

Among the Mad by Jacqueline Winspear

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Maisie Dobbs, psychologist and private detective, is tapped once again, and this time it’s for help with a case of chemical terrorism. It appears an individual has written a letter to British officials, spewing dissatisfaction on how certain factions of society have been treated and threatening harm to them and many others if action is not taken. Because Maisie herself has been named in this letter, she is brought onto the case, and it is quickly apparent that the author of this letter is suffering, has experienced tragedy, but is also extremely dangerous.

I love this series. I have erred by reading it in completely the wrong order, but because they are so well-written, they are also excellent as stand-alone novels. They serve both as detective/murder-mysteries and historical fiction narratives, and as a series provide vivid details of life in spanning from before the first World War to after the second. This particular one takes place in December, 1931, and one can feel not only the desperation of the Depression that has impacted so many, but also the residual psychological impact of the “Great War.”

Before we had the term “PTSD,” soldiers were diagnosed with “shell shock,” and it was really the first form of trauma that had been even remotely acknowledged. This story describes well how so many, mostly men, were affected by being in the trenches: hearing bombs go off just next to them, feeling explosions blow off body parts, seeing friends killed before their eyes. And so many of them were not allowed to process this trauma, but were forced, because they happened to be physically “ok,” to jump back in to the fighting because the armed forces just needed bodies. And the repeated trauma made for extremely vulnerable men returning to their homes after the war. Their vulnerabilities could manifest in extreme disconnection from their prior personalities, from their families, from their very souls, as is described in this story.

While I think one can skip around a bit, I would recommend beginning the series with the first one, which is called Maisie Dobbs, by Jacqueline Winspear, as it gives an important foundation to the series. And if you can, it is probably best to go in order, but there are a great many books in the series –  it may take you awhile! But the writing is solid, the plots are clever, and Maisie is a strong, ethical and wise character to stick with.